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Host: Yeah, we all believe he cares.Really? All the money goes straight into his RBS account, though. I don't see him helping you out.
We live in a free society, he can do what he wants with his money.Come on, give me a break. It's all about him, his girlfriend and his sponsor, no?
Its a very personal thing, tennis. He's not going to stick a Scottish flag on his forehead, is he?*hangs up*THE GOLDEN LION FLAGSHIP HOTEL, STIRLINGDo you think Murray gives a crap about Scotland?
Concierge: Yes. Of course he does.Why should he?
[Silence]It's not like he ever came to your hotel, is it? Why do you even support him? He's done nothing for you.
I'm not that sure, to be honest.*hangs up*INDIA GATE, DUNBLANEHost: Curry?Andy Murray.
Is he coming?No.
His mother ate here once. A month ago, actually.She won't be coming back, not with Andy and not with anyone.
Is Andy coming? Is he coming?
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Host: Yeah, sure he does.He's a world famous tennis player, why would he care about you?
Everybody who's Scottish cares about being Scottish.Nah, that's bullshit.
It's true. Get lost and mind your own business.*hangs up*MILL COURT, DUNBLANEDo you really think Andy Murray cares about anyone in Dunblane? Or even Scotland, generally?
Of course Andy cares, very much so. He's said a few times that he'd like to come home.He's just trying to be nice.
I'm preparing dinner, can you please leave me alone? Anyway, yes, Andy DOES care about Scotland, ya wee bas'. And we care about him.You are delusional.
You are a fool.*hangs up*Follow Nimrod on Twitter: @nnimrodd