Here’s the thing, buddy [dismounts mechanical bull], all our lady friends are hot. Every last one of ‘em, for as it is written in the Book of Thotness, the chief requirements for being a Hot Girl are 1) identifying as a woman, and 2) being a rad woman—meaning, the kind of woman you can trust with your life, but who will also be a wildcard in her decision making. (Remember her
pyramid scheme multi-level marketing stint? Iconic.) She probably has big fire sign placements in her astrological chart, excellent taste in music, and a diet that consists mainly of JUUL pods, tempeh, and sardines—true Hot Girl fuel—because this babe is busy, on-the-go, and discerning. It’s why we’re so obsessed with her, and why finding the best gifts for women can feel so harrowing.
What do you gift the Hot Girl who has everything? She already owns all the mushroom guidebooks and Swiss Army knives. What does she want that she doesn’t know she needs yet? It’s impossible to say, sometimes, but not to worry—we have a (half-baked) scientific process and a really hot Always Pan (Hot Girl catnip). You see, we realized that the only way to create a quarry of epic Hot Girl presents was to ask a selection of real Hot Girls in our own lives about the best presents they’ve ever received, thus resulting in a massive, sexy, steaming geyser of presents for baddies that will never run dry.
In true Hot Girl fashion, most of our friends cited dead animals as their best present ever; one has been gifted a taxidermied bat not once, but twice, and another cherishes a preserved rat her brother found in a jar at a thrift shop in Michigan. We told these beautiful assholes to please give us more to work with, and they did—but, not wanting to be ignorant of natural Hot Girl gift patterns, we would suggest Etsy, 1stDibs, and The Evolution Store for your taxidermy needs.
Consider the following as our ~focus group~ of women. They’ve brought us to the realization that the best gifts they’ve ever received are equal parts whimsical and practical. For every crystal, there’s a Swiffer product that makes life easier, and for every fancy electronic cello, there’s a reminder that you really can’t go wrong with a classic photo album. Let’s crawl inside their Hot Girl brains for some invaluable gifting tips this holiday season.
“My dad one year got me a Swiffer steamer (which I LOVED) and [paired it] with Lactaid in my stocking,” says Jordan, “So basically the perfect gift for me.” She also says crystals are a no-fail present (just make sure you buy ethically sourced quartz).
“Socks honestly. I love socks. And the Sims Expansion Collection,” says Linnea, a truly hot ghoul.
“My sister [also] got her rich ex to buy us cruise tickets for my birthday one year,” she adds. Follow her lead, and scope out the vacation of your choice from travel groups like Girls Vacation Club, which hosts a rad weekend-long vacation in Mexico, or Venmo request that cugine for a trip to Miami in the winter. Seriously. The Expedia flights right now are literally the cost of a lobster dinner at Umbertos Clam House.
“It was just exactly what I asked for,” says Rose about this Irish turf incense burner, which looks like a wee cottage from County Tipperary and burns legit, Ireland-sourced peat bricks that give off a great earthy smell for the fall and winter. Perfect for the cozy cottagecore/goblincore friend.
When it comes to buying jewelry for women that doesn’t suck, consider something that feels a little more personal. “My mom got me this dope nameplate necklace,” says Nicolette about this piece, “[and] the best part is no one will ever have to ask your name again.”
“Old family photos from my grandma,” says Caroline, “and an electric cello when I told [my then-boyfriend in France] how much I missed my cello that was back in the US.” If you only have access to digital photos, sites such as Artifact Uprising have tons of options for printing and assembling your favorites.
Nothing like a good old 35-millimeter film camera. Brooke says this Canon AE-1 is one of her favorites, and was a gift on Valentine’s Day. Aw.
“[My boyfriend] got me a Eufy (robot vacuum) which I really fucking loved,” says Kaitlin, “Less time cleaning, more time being a hot girl.”
“My dad bought me a cheap plane ticket to Spain ($400),” says Chichi, “It was particularly special because I moved to NY a year before and was super broke, and he knew I'd been wanting to go." Classy. Also, doable, if you’re someone who can think ahead a bit; right now round-trip January flights from NYC to Barcelona are a little over $500 on Expedia. “On my 18th birthday,” she adds, “my mom got me a Coach purse. She said ‘You're a lady now, so you need a lady's purse.’” *Sheds tear*
Chichi also says that a personalized perfume bottle was a memorable gift. “A friend gifted [one] to me after I mentioned that I really liked the scent,” she says about a specific L'Occitane fragrance, “She even went as far as to get my name engraved on the bottle. It was one of the first few really thoughtful gifts I'd ever received from a friend."
“A dear friend of mine sent me personalized stationery from the brand Papier,” says Amanda, “which I used all throughout lockdown to write letters to family and friends. A very sweet way to put a bit of love in the mail, with a personal touch.”
“An LP of Ziggy Stardust,” says Kai, “You never forget the first time you get that album.”
“I used to be a cheapskate and just wear hotel slippers on the regular,” says Alice, “so one year my partner got me official slippers from The Ritz. Instant glamour every day.” We found an brand new two-pack (one for you; one for your giftee).
“As a girl it was makeup,” says Mary, “or my own board game like Clue.” Hot tip: use keywords like “vintage” and “retro” to scoop the vintage editions of classic board games because they look so much cooler. Just look at that golden Akari, and tell me you can’t smell the shag carpet of your uncle’s 1981 basement in De Moines.
“My best friend got me this plain black Herschel backpack while I was in college,” says Alexandra, “I used it everyday for two years straight and it’s currently still in my closet in great condition (now I use it for travel). It’s not the most glam item of all time but it’s seriously one of the best things I’ve been gifted, and great for practical peeps!”
She also loves this lil plushie—and not for your pet. For you. “Do your friend, lover, parent, or whoever a favor,” she says and buy them this angry Shiba plushie. My friend casually bought it for me for fun and I'll shamelessly say that I sleep with it every night.”
“My best friend gives the best gifts,” says Becca, “and for my birthday this year she got me a custom pillow in the shape of my dog's head. He's really confused by it, and I don't know how I ever lived without it.”
May this be a reminder to us all that when it comes to finding the best gifts for women, it’s not always the size or price of the gift that counts, but whether or not we can share it with our dog. Blessings, and happy shopping.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.