Not to toot our own horns, but we’re kind of pube princes. Not that we were born into this life of luxuriating pubic hair oils and fancy razors, mind you. We indoctrinated ourselves in the cult of silky robes and better body hair practices that include everything from smarter exfoliating and shaving to finding the absolute best hydrating oils for our collective bush.
The muff monarchy is open to all who wish to better their nethers with a little more TLC, whether that means going full bald eagle with your safety razor, or opting for what the French call “the metro ticket” wax. Hitting the town with your pubes well-groomed is like having good credit—not everyone can see it, but they can tell from your swagger and joie de pubes that you’ve got it going on, baby.
Perhaps you’re looking for the best shaving cream for your private areas, or trying to sus out which trending beauty and grooming companies are actually worth shelling out for. Whether you’re a dude, lady, non-binary person, or anyone who wants to ascend to glittering Adonis levels this spring, we’ve got you covered.
There’s an entire company dedicated to “manscaping”
Do you identify as someone who wants to "manscape"? Then take a pause from curing that deer jerky, and have a gander at the offerings from the much-loved Manscaped grooming brand, which include an electric groin hair trimmer—sorry, it’s called the Lawn Mower—that has over 64,000 reviews on Amazon and a 4.5-star average rating. “I’ve never seen a razor cut through hair so easily,” one reviewer writes. “It cuts through thick hair, long hair, [and] short hairs like a lawn mower (I guess the name is very accurate). If I ever have a [Britney] Spears 2007 level breakdown, I will be stealing this from my husband to shave my head [...] I also almost shaved my dog just because it works so well lol.” You go, Edward Trimmerhands!
More of an old-school razor person? Manscaped also makes a best-selling, single-blade, double-edged safety razor called The Plow that has amassed over 2,600 reviews and a 4.6-star average rating. I use it for my face and BALLS,” writes one titilated customer. “If you’re looking for your first entry into double edged razors, or looking to add another to an ever-growing collection,” writes another, “this is well worth the investment.”
Lather up, ladies and lizards—lest we should forget one of the most important parts of shaving: the preliminary creams and gels. Manscaped’s 4.5-star rated Crop Gel is uniquely formulated to lather up and still look clear on the skin so that you can see everything you’re doing down there. It’s also dye-free and filled with skin-soothing ingredients including coconut oil, orchid flower extract, jojoba oil, and tea tree oil.
The balls have it
If you’re looking to give your uncut gems a little more TLC, the Ballber is one of the best-selling intimate trimmers by Happy Nuts (whose logo looks like a blend of garlic and balls?? Hell yeah). “I don't know why I didn't pick up a Ballber earlier,” writes one fan on Amazon, “The days of carefully avoiding sack nicks and a howl at the moon when it inevitably happens are over. They aren't joking when they say you can touch the Ballber, without a guard, directly to your skin. With squinted eyes and a tense posture, I touched the trimmer to the delicate pouch. No nick! No howling! WOO HOO!”
The best trimmers for women
Over in the best trimmers for women section, top contenders include the Panasonic electric shaver, which is both Schiaparelli pink and has garnered over 57,000 ratings as an Amazon best-seller. “Best part is,” writes one reviewer, “in summer when life gets hectic [and] no one wants to shave daily.... I can just pop [my] leg on [the] sink and quickly shave in 30 seconds.” It has a rechargeable battery that lasts up to 12 hours, and cuts a shave so smooth that Panasonic says you can even use it on dry skin.
Gillette is a brand we’ve trusted for a long time with our bikini line, and their intimate grooming razor is one of the most affordable options if you’re not into the whole electric razor thing. “If you are looking for a razor that makes it easier to get in some nooks and dips while not irritating or pulling your hair down,” writes one fan about the product, which has over 13,000 reviews on Amazon, “[then] this is an EXCELLENT choice.”
Join the cult of Fur Oil
You may have heard about Fur Oil, the cult-fave product that’s been lauded by celebs like Emma Watson as a must-have for everything from your bush to your eyebrows and everywhere finicky hair grows, but let me tell ya first hand: This stuff SLAPS. Or rather, it soothes, it nourishes, and it makes you excited about growing out your bush. I gave Fur Oil a thorough test run for VICE, and after a few weeks my own muff acquired that much-coveted, natural coif that resembles seagrass from a rich, libertarian coastal town. With enriching ingredients such as jojoba oil (to soften the hair and moisturize), grapeseed oil (for hydration), tea tree oil (to prevent ingrown hairs), and clary sage seed oil (to reduce redness and irritation), this little elixir has become one of the best parts of my post-shower routine. I no longer think of my bush as an afterthought, but as my own, members-only topiary garden.
Fight ingrown hairs
One of the easiest ways to start caring for your pubic hair is to begin some gentle (keyword: gentle) exfoliation with a soft, textured washcloth. I dig this exfoliating cloth from Public Goods because it looks cool and is made out of ayate, a naturally mildew-resistant material derived from agave plants that you can leave hanging in your shower for ages. No more squishy, soggy washcloths!
When the makers of Fur Oil launched a product to fight ingrown hairs, you best believe I slid into their DMs faster than an Olympic luger. I love that the Ingrown Eliminator Serum comes as a spray for easy application, and includes ingredients such as willow bark acid (which acts as a natural form of salicylic acid), a bit of lavender (calming), and aloe (naturally antibacterial). I’ve only been using it for about two weeks, but I’ve already noticed fewer bumps and a more even skin tone.
Shave like it’s 1979…
… Not that these folks were doing much of that back in the day. But if they were, we like to think they would have been big fans of OUI The People, the Black-owned beauty and skincare company whose best-selling (and often sold-out) shaving kits are made for all genders and walks of life. You can browse the brand’s site by “concern” (ingrown hairs? dry skin?) or learn more about why its Sugarcoat shave-gel-to-milk has become such a cult-fave product. “[This is] not your typical shave gel that you’d buy at the grocery store,” writes one reviewer of the highly-rated product, “The coating is VERY thin, so it doesn’t clog up the razor, but provides enough slip that it’s not like trying to shave with just water. Overall since I started using this product, I’ve had to change my razor blade less frequently, and cut myself far less frequently as well.” Buy it on its own, or with OUI The People’s signature rose gold safety razor.
You want to wax (but you’re also lazy)
Same. The wax strips from Flamingo are not only hella affordable ($10 gets you 28 wax strips and six post-wax cloths), but fans on the site say they’re super easy to use, and help them economize by cutting out salon prices every month. “I love how much money I save by not having to get waxed professionally,” writes one customer, while another says “at home waxing has been a game changer for my legs.” Just think of all the CBD pre-rolls, fancy candles, and UberEats you’ll be able to budget in, dude!
Here’s to feeling as silky and smooth as a baby seal.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.