People Sum Up the Dumbest Thing They Spent Money on in Six Words
Illustrations by Brandon Celi.

People Sum Up the Dumbest Thing They Spent Money on in Six Words

"An expensive, 'realistic'-looking horse mask."

It physically pains us to think about all the money we've pissed away over the years. Useless weight loss apps, exorbitant beauty treatments, pricey clothes that don't even fit––there's plenty of ways to empty one's wallet on straight up bullshit. We asked friends and co-workers to recall the dumbest thing they've spent their cash on. Here's what they said.

"Bottle service in Atlantic City nightclub." - Andrew, 33


"So many improv classes, so many." - Eve, 24

"An expensive, 'realistic'-looking horse mask." - Priscilla, 40

"Customized Patrick Stump mugshot phone case." - Scarlet, 23

"A bachelor's degree in broadcast communications." - Mike, 37

"Yellowed Masonic magazines from the 1920s." - Harry, 30

"The Conor McGregor–Floyd Mayweather fight - Larry, 29

"Black denim jorts with butt flap." - Peter, 23

"An autographed 'King of Queens' script." - Pilot, 29

"My date's drink: a $100 shot." - Mary, 36

"$800 hair extensions. Still looks bad." - Lindsay, 27

"My gym membership. I never go." - Louis, 31

"Engagement ring I gave my ex-wife." - Francis, 46

"Custom latex pants that didn't fit." - Isabel, 27

"Bento box lunchbox. Never use it." - Oset, 24

"The fanciest vibrator. Didn't do much." - Sarah, 47

"Online hiking challenge, never started it." - Katy, 29

"Champagne tour of NYC while unemployed." - Jennifer, 53

"Automated laser pointer my cat ignored." - Genevieve, 36

"My DVD collection. Stream everything now." - Paul, 32

"I had ten Tamagotchis in 2005." - Ali, 22

"$650 for unlimited Brazilian wax pass." - Lily, 26

"Rare Pappy Van Winkle bourbon bottle." - Thomas, 36

"Starbucks delivery. I had the flu." - Brittany, 27

"Kylie Jenner's dumb $2.99/month mobile app." - Anna, 29

"Airline Wi-Fi that (predictably) never works." - Janessa, 37

"My 2010 marriage to that idiot." - Lauren, 35

"The wedding I didn't wanna have." - Kara, 32


" didn't bring back the dead." - Crissy, 33

"$50 lip plumping device. Total waste." - Stephanie, 25

"Weight-loss coaching app. Millennials, man." - Lisa, 31

"I fell for the LulaRoe leggings." - Shelby, 26

"Wedding videographer. Video unwatched. Divorced now." - Justin, 38

"Anything bought in an airport ever." - Ange, 35

"Good quality shoes fell apart fast." - Kari, 22

"Princess Diana limited-edition Beanie Baby." - Kelly, 32

"Party dress! Don't go to parties." - Vartika, 24

"$200 Kickstarter cat wheel/clothes rack." - Madra, 35

"Stethoscope. Can't hear alleged heart murmur." - Adetutu, 28

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