Justin Trudeau, Up the Creek Without a Paddle, Tries Canoeing Back to His Reputation

Reeling from his biggest scandal yet Trudeau deployed some familiar weapons: a canoe and his tight ass.
Mack Lamoureux
Toronto, CA
September 26, 2019, 5:34pm
After arguably his worst week in his political career, Justin Trudeau decided to do what he’s best at, and powered a canoe across a lake towards a gaggle of reporters.
Trudeau paddling a canoe on Sepetmber 26, 2019. Photo via THE CANADIAN PRESS/Ryan Remiorz.

Ok, Jim, best we get the canoe out.
—Liberal proverb on how to deal with adversity.

After arguably his worst week in his political career, Justin Trudeau decided to do what he’s best at, and powered a canoe across a lake towards a gaggle of reporters.

Yup, at a campaign stop in Sudbury, Trudeau made a campaign announcement about camp funding but that wasn’t important, what is important is how he got there—IN A GODDAMN CANOE BAY-BEE!!!

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In fact, the Liberals seem to be doing their best to power through the recent scandals with a reminder that ‘our leader is fit as heck, you guys! Just look at these arms bulge as he powers this canoe through the majestic clear waters of the Lake Laurentian Conservation Area in Sudbury, Ontario. Look at that sweet ass as he does the Grouse Grind!’

Nothing makes people forget about your past indiscretions quite like paddling a canoe awkwardly back in forth in front of them as they wait for you to speak.

Trudeau, like many politicians, is playing the hits. It was the last campaign, when Trudeau went up against Stephen Harper—the man with the same body as your trucker uncle—that they revelled in the fitness of the leader. Now as Trudeau takes on Scheer—the man who looks like Stephen Harper’s nephew—they’ve deployed Operation Tight Trudeau again.

Trudeau, along with a cadre of media and supporters, also did the Grouse Grind in 2015. That grueling, pretty much vertical 2.9-kilometre trail up the face of Grouse Mountain made a comeback this week in a Liberal ad that shows Trudeau romping up the hill and giving a talk at the top.

If you look closely you can see the Liberal's strategy.

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Photos via screenshot from Liberal ad.

While the Grouse Grind does make an appearance, it seems Trudeau’s preferred method of showing off his fitness is canoeing. Canoeing plays a disproportionately important role in Trudeau’s political career in comparison to all other water sports. During his campaign on hope, sunshine, and glitter in 2015, Trudeau’s team set up a famous photo op of Trudeau in a canoe which harkened back to his father’s canoeing prowess when he was Prime Minister. This included him gliding majestically across Calgary’s Bow River, and later posing with his family having a good time in a canoe.

Hell, in 2012, Trudeau once wrote an article for Cottage Life in which he “reflected on his love affair with the canoe.” In it he recalls a “rite of passage for the Trudeau boys”—bombing some rapids at age six. So as you can see, the canoe is kinda like a special lil’ weapon to show both how gosh darn fit our prime minister was and also, that he was a kid once too!

I mean who needs to tell your country what the costume was when you were covered head to toe in black make up when you can just paddle, paddle, paddle your worries away?

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