NEW YORK – A TRIBUTE TO OUR ERSTWHILE ASSISTANT TO THE PUBLISHER

Before that whole Kari Ferrell snafu we had another assistant to the publisher—the indubitable John James. The only difference between him and that liar who worked for us for about a couple weeks is that John worked incredibly hard for us for many years and he was never actually an assistant to the publisher. He was really the business operations manager (whatever the fuck that means!) and always hated it when people referred to him as Erik Lavoie’s little helper. JJ left the company about two months ago to go live at a friend’s surf resort in Bali. Because we are extremely jealous, black-hearted individuals, it was only proper to put together a memento for him that would at least partially ruin one of his days filled with running around on a beach, surfing, and drinking… 

John is a germaphobe, and at his going-away party we presented him with a wrapped stack of magazines that had been taken from the bathroom (he would frequently complain and berate colleagues about taking “his” periodicals into the bathroom for an afternoon dump). But that was only the beginning. Last week John requested a copy of

the Brazilian Issue. Tucked inside was a note instructing him to head to this URL today after 10:30 AM EST. Mr. James, behold the fashion shoot your various colleagues did with a bunch of expensive board shorts before we gave them to you as a tear-jerker of a send-off gift…

See you soon, John.