Signs of Love

How to Survive Dating a Virgo, the Most Judgmental Zodiac Sign

It's not always easy, but you'll never be bored!
A Virgo preoccupied on a date
Illustration by Cathryn Virginia

"Signs of Love" is a column in which astrologer Danny Larkin breaks down what it's like to date each zodiac sign.

Virgo will draw you in with their smart observations. Whatever the conversation topic, you can count on this earth sign to offer an insightful detail that will leave everyone thinking, “I wish I’d thought of that!” Virgo will charm your socks off by remembering the obscure minutiae you blurted out hours ago and circle back with a clever joke. It’s not just the devil that’s in the details—Virgo’s there, too!


If you’re intrigued and want to ask a Virgo out on a date, ask them some questions about food and drink to feel out their taste. Since Virgo is the sign that rules the stomach, Virgos can be very particular about their diet, or have a specific genre of cuisine they love. If they don’t suggest a specific spot, dig up your local newspaper’s online restaurant reviews and find the most recent place critics are raving about. Then, send it to your Virgo—this will delight the most critical and detail-oriented sign of the zodiac.

It might seem intimidating to plan your outfit for a date with a Virgo, since they tend to scrutinize everything, but you don’t have to blow an exorbitant amount of money or look like you just walked off the runway in order to impress them. What appeals most to Virgo are small details like accessories. They don’t care how much these items cost, just that their eyes and minds have plenty of options to look at and consider. Try wearing extra jewelry, or something shiny with lots of smaller pieces that glimmer.

Virgo is equally detail-oriented in conversation. If you want to score some brownie points, do some social media sleuthing to learn about their interests and hobbies. Read up on these subjects; it’ll keep chatter exciting if you contribute an insight that struck you! When it comes to work talk, don’t flaunt your title or brag about your salary or alma mater since that’s a turn-off for this grounded earth sign. What they’ll really be impressed by is an impressive story about your power of analysis: Did you sort through a bunch of spreadsheets and uncover a pattern no one else had seen? Did you latch onto a piece of feedback and develop it into a winning strategy? These are the kinds of stories that will make a Virgo swoon!


If you and Virgo fall for each other, you are in for a delightful adventure. This quick-witted sign will pick up on the funniest little things in movies that you can have a laugh about afterwards. Many of these hardworking earth signs excel at self-discipline and can help you galvanize healthier routines and habits. They make even the smallest errands fun and get so excited to do mundane things that other couples dread, like grocery or furniture shopping.

It can be difficult to date a Virgo if you don’t sync with their highly structured routines—some Virgos are total gym rats; others have a special diet that they never deviate from; others have less obvious habits that might seem unnecessary but give them a reassuring illusion of order amidst the chaos of life. Woe to any lover that calls Virgo out over this—better to just let them have their patterns and roll with it as much as you can.

Another challenge is that Virgos are notoriously judgmental and have a hard time with imperfections—both theirs and yours. They may come home one night spiraling in shame over a mistake they made at work that isn’t actually a big deal—and worse, they get pissed when you point out to them that it isn’t a big deal! Virgos can also be too hard on a partner who lets their inner demons get the better of them. We all have bad days and occasionally give into our fears or insecurities—but Virgos can be viciously harsh if they see their partner do this, and blame them for “messing up.” It’s very hard for this sign to hold back when they see something that could be improved. Virgo is definitely a sign that has to learn tact!


Virgo is named after the vestal virgins, a group of women in ancient times that never married and lived in the temple of Vesta, the goddess of hearth. These women weren’t virgins in the modern sense of never having sex, but in the ancient sense of never marrying. Once a year, they held a sex ritual where several men would inseminate them in one evening. It was crucial that each woman had multiple partners in one night so that no man could claim to be the baby’s father; the child would be raised in the temple instead. Today, this myth manifests as sexual intensity between the sheets—Virgos can be absolute freaks in bed. Sex is important to a Virgo and provides a rare occasion for them to turn off their analytical mind and indulge in earthly pleasure.

If this intense earth sign is not your match and you need to break up with a Virgo, be prepared for the fact that they’ll claim they can fix any problem you have with them. Don’t take the bait—it’s crucial that you explain gently that you’ve already tried to fix your incompatibility but ultimately, you’re both set in your ways. They won’t like it, but they’ll know it’s true and have to accept it.

If you’re lucky enough to score a Virgo that can let their hair down and know when to cut you some slack, you’re going to have a blast. You’ll have steamy sex and laugh your ass off picking up cat food at the bodega. You’ll constantly be struck by the ways they tinker and adjust every day to co-create a beautiful life with you.

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