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Music

Why I Hate CDs and How They've Made Me Mental

They're good for checking your teeth, that's about it.

I hate CDs. Compact Discs. I hate them.

This is a big joke in my band. Our label always presses a bunch of CDs for promo use and we bring a chunk on tour just in case someone—anyone—doesn’t know how a digital download works. Every time our label asks how many CDs we want for tour, I grunt and roll my eyes. “None. I don’t want any of those pieces of shit CDs.”

My band thinks I’m crazy, and I am because we do actually sell CDs at shows. It really confuses me. I just don’t understand why you would want a CD when you could buy the record and get the digital download instead. I mean, you don’t even have to have a turntable, but the vinyl is nice. It looks good! Vinyl lasts. That’s why it is still around in 2012 and making a bit of a comeback while CDs are now just something you cut up lines on. CDs are dead-ass, late-80’s bullshit and I wish they would just go back to where they came from (which, in my mind, is hell).

Why do I hate CDs so much? They are limiting. You bring one in the car and you are stuck with it. Making mixed CDs is beyond stupid. Dubbing a mixtape has this hands-on, intimate serenity to it, whereas dragging songs into a folder on your desktop and then clicking "copy" is detached. CDs malfunction so quickly. They scratch and skip if you even look at them wrong. They are so, so high maintenance. And lastly, CDs are stubborn. When a CD gets stuck in your car stereo, it is never, ever, going to come out. At least with a tape you can jam a screwdriver or your fingers in there and maneuverer the cassette until it pops, but a CD is so skinny, so feeble. It crawls into that stereo and if it doesn’t want to come out, it’s never coming out. Seriously. CDs are pieces of shit.

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