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Four Things the Internet Can Teach You #6

TMZ is reporting that Courteney "I didn't realize she spelled her first name like that" Cox and David Arquette have filed for divorce. I really don't know what to say.

1. LOVE CANNOT LAST. WE WILL ALL DIE ALONE.

TMZ is reporting that Courteney "I didn't realize she spelled her first name like that" Cox and David Arquette have filed for divorce. I really don't know what to say. I always felt like his quirky personality perfectly played off her uptight Monica-ishness. It gave me hope that, one day, I could love too. But now that hope has gone. RIP Cox-Arquette.

2. SOME PEOPLE ARE NOT AS AFRAID OF THE INTERNET AS THEY SHOULD BE

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If you are unfamiliar with the kind of negative impact The Internet Hate Machine can have on your life, pay attention. These days hackers can invade your MySpace, threaten you from secret websites and even BLOW UP YOUR VAN. All anonymously from within their own homes and with no consequences whatsoever.

Which is what makes it all the more amazing to see that chiefs like this are still unafraid to speak on camera (actually, even without the internet existing, she probably should have kept all of this to herself). Oh, the internet will destroy you.

She's issued an apology since the death threats (and, presumably, pizzas) started rolling in, but I think it's probably a bit late for that.

And then there's this kid. I can imagine it's probably pretty upsetting if you're a fan of JBiebz. The level of hatred aimed towards him and his fans is perhaps a touch unnecessary, and I can understand the frustration. But, Jesus kid, have you never heard of Jessi Slaughter? For the rest of time, whenever somebody Googles you, they're going to see the kid who got trolled TO DEATH.

3.JARED LETO IS NOW UNIVERSALLY SEXY

If there's two things I know straight boys love, it's music videos with a message and edgy movies with frenetic editing. So I can only imagine how happy y'all are gonna be to see that Jared Leto, maker of the world's deepest music video and star of some of the edgiest, most frenetically edited movies of all time, is now available as a woman! Oh my!

4. IF THIS WERE BANGLADESH OR AFRICA, MY WEDDING WOULD SUCK

Wooooaaaaah! WTF just happened? Am I hypnotised now?

JAMIE LEE CURTIS TAETE