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A Jay-Z concert shirt
A replica Woodstock T-shirt, no doubt purchased at Urban Outfitters
Stonewashed jeans (which, unless you’re serving as a juror in the case of Gap v. the Western World, are
unacceptable.)We were shuffled, number by number, into the courtroom. Then the real fun began. When asked by the judge if we had any reason why we could not serve as a jurors, an inordinate amount of people raised their hands. Really?, I thought, staring at the back of the head of a woman wearing Crocs. You really have somewhere better to be than here?The more I sat in court, and the more I heard bullshit excuse after bullshit excuse, the angrier I got. If I were the person on trial, how would I feel to hear that my civil liberties were less important than getting some dipshit’s kid to soccer practice on time? To answer my own rhetorical question, not so good.Surely you must know about the West Memphis Three, 'cause Henry Rollins and Johnny Depp made sure you did. You may be startled to know, however, that they were not the only people who have ever been unjustly accused and convicted of a crime. During the jury selection process, when asked the question, “Do you believe that, by virtue of the fact that the man in front of you is sitting here, must he be guilty of some crime?” multiple people responded in the affirmative. Which leads me to this question: Do you have a rational bone in your body? If the answer is yes, that answer should be no. Now, let’s take that question one step further. Would you, as a rational human being, prefer to have an equally rational person serve as a juror on your case, or would you rather a San Fernando Valley housefrau who negatively judges people based on their nonwhite appearance dictate your fate? No? Then buck the fuck up and rise to your court-ordered occasion as a juror when it’s your turn to do so. Don’t bone out like a coward. Ultimately, I wasn’t selected as a juror, and I’m upset because of it. The woman wearing Crocs was.@bornferal
