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NIGERIA - A PLANE TAKES OFF


Our suave American businessman friend Pip starts another African adventure
I decided to fly from Abuja to Lagos even though I saw endless collision remains strewn along the Nigerian roadside for an hour, including an oil tanker that'd hit a bulldozer head-on. I never enjoy flying—I’m the type who thinks I'm about to die every time we hit some turbulence. So the handwritten boarding pass and the ancient metal detector that was unable to detect my steel belt buckle and pocket full of change didn’t boost my confidence in the whole affair. All the passengers walked out across the runway to the 1970s-era Russian passenger jet and we were ordered to stand very still as another plane taxied by. Before we climbed the stairs into the cabin we had to wait while the crew double-checked to make sure they were loading our bags onto the right plane.

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"At least there is blue sky," I said as we taxied down the runway. "At least it’s only a one-hour flight." As we took off I looked out my window and saw a piece of airline wreckage, the tail of a similar looking passenger jet, lying next to a mud shack.

Everything was calm enough until we hit the outskirts of Lagos. As the tin-roofed adobe huts clumped more closely together, the sure-fire sign we’d hit "civilization" (aka smog and traffic), it began to rain. We swung down, down, about to land, maybe 200 feet above the runway, then leveled out and started slowly rising again. WHAT. When we hit around 500 feet the pilot took over the loudspeakers.

"How ya doing everybody? I’d like to apologize for the inconvenience. I decided to pull up because I couldn’t see the runway. We’re going to circle around Lagos for a while until conditions improve. There might be a bit of turbulence so try to bear with us as best you can here."

The plane flew slow and silent. As we circled around I saw another airliner coming toward us, and it disappeared into a cloud. Then we were also in a cloud. Oh god. An hour later the captain announced that we were landing. I cringed until the plane rolled to a halt.

Five days later it was time for the return flight to Abuja. I looked out the window. Blue sky again. "Maybe this flight will be better," I thought. As the plane took off I kicked off my shoes and pressed the button to recline my seat. It broke off into the chair arm.

PIP