FYI.

This story is over 5 years old.

Vice Blog

PHOTOGRAPHY ISSUE EXTRA - THE ADVICE IS ICE

Sometimes advertising gets way out of hand, specifically those degenerative D-minus swipes at my intellect on a Taco Bell sauce packet and the reverse psychology inside Jimmy John's telling me to leave (and I do, because I don't need to be manipulated by a company to simply enjoy it). And Snickers, you are not funnier than me. I'm fucking hilarious and you need to check yourself before you wreck a cab with that "Snaxi" bullshit. Some companies are doing a little better though. Pepsi is back to square one with their advertising: huge circles with a simple color scheme and one to three syllable slogans that kindly remind you that Pepsi is fresh and it tastes good. Quaker Oats has taken the same approach, encouraging us to "Go, Humans, Go," a nice way to remind people to eat breakfast in the morning. But those aren't good enough. This brings me to ice machines, the kind you find outside a convenience store filled with like a hundred pounds of ice. They can't trick you into buying it with a celebrity tie-in because it's goddamn ICE. The ingredients are water and freeze. This is the most brilliantly marketed product of our time.

Advertisement

I tried to capture that with these photos. I took them while touring the midwest and east coast last summer with my band, Slow Horse. Looking back, I should have taken more but the battery ran out on the digital camera that I found at a Dunkin Donuts and I waited till now to order a charger from Hong Kong on eBay. For those of you with a future or present career in advertisement: take note. Most of us want to look at things without feeling marginalized or out-cooled. Ice is literally the coolest thing we can buy and it doesn't act like it's too good for us. So, please, look to ice.

BRYAN CLOPTON