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Vice Blog

NEW YORK - LIVE TAROT 2 (THE PREQUEL)

Yesterday’s live tarot readings had a bunch of you going, "Whoa, spooky," so we’re doing it again today. As before, just post a question in the comments section and you’ll get a quick, tough-love answer from the ancient oracle of the Atu. Yesterday a couple people asked how it all works. Click below for an explanation from our mystic, who's standing by now.

Update: Questions section closed! Feel free to respond to your readings though.

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A traditional tarot deck comes with 78 cards: 22 of them are called trumps, universal symbols, or entities, or keys, who all interact with one another in such a way to compose the pathways for the Qabalah. The rest of the cards are split into four suits, which is very similar to a basic playing card deck, except there’s one other face card per suit.

I’m using Aleister Crowley’s Thoth deck, named for the Egyptian God of engineering; the Greek equivalent is Hermes. It’s the deck most high school Goth kids would choose when they go to Barnes & Noble in search of ways to explore occultism without actually freaking themselves out. Crowley’s associated with Satanism, or at least pop culture’s version of Satanism, and though yeah, he was big into conjuring demons and excavating darkness, I don’t think he was concerned with "evil" as we normally think of it. Dude had a huge ego and a ton of magick power and he opened up some wild portals. I think that’s how he was able to mine a deep understanding of ancient symbolism, and in certain cases propose some wild new theories about it. So actually, this deck can be super freaky, just not in ways you'd normally think of.

When I’m reading cards for you people, I make sure I’m grounded, centered, and open, and then I concentrate on your question while shuffling my cards. I don’t consider myself psychic, but I do think I’m intuitive, so when I feel like I’ve got your question totally in focus, I stop shuffling and choose the top three cards. I look for relationships among color scheme, numbers, suit, images that show up in multiples, planetary alliances, etc. I look for a potential story line based on the pathways of the Tree of Life and the traditional story of the tarot. I look for where things clash, I look for harmony. And then I come up with a witty few sentences to try to help you get some insight to your situation.

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Joe: Here's the deal. Your doubt over this woman--who is one alluring fox and probably attracts a lot of attention--is the main issue. You're creating your own sense of disappointment, and it's causing you to feel neglected. You're projecting a lot of your own self-esteem issues on to this woman. I say work on that first before you try to get involved with anyone on a serious level.

Krunk: Totally. You need to start acting on your hunches though, and stop being so resistant to change.

Manny: Your mind wanders but you do have it in you to focus and get it done. You're inhibited by your lack of inspiration, aren't you? It really doesn't have anything to do with energy or wanting to have fun. Stop making excuses and get to the root of the issue.

Help: Your spark is gone. You're feeling kind of listless. Introduce some order into your life, order that also has beauty and subtlety. Don't be so hard on yourself. Keep plugging away…plant a seed and it'll grow. I see definite big change ahead.

Tyler: Bear fruit? Who talks like that? I think I know what you mean, but I'm wondering if you do, and that's probably blocking you from finding someone. I don't actually see anything with love here…instead I see the need to unlock yourself,  because some shit keeps going down that's upsetting you and it's because you're so resistant to change. You've got to learn how to chill out, relax, accept that things won't always go your way, before anyone else will be able to get to you. But you'll be fine. Better than fine. It'll all work out.

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Nancy Drew: It's the smell of shit you're stirring. Seriously, the cards say that. Quit being a gossip.

Hubert Cumberdale: This is interesting. Your attraction to him is mental, isn't it? On one level the your brains are super connected, but before you know it you're arguing like some crazy meth heads on COPS. Someone here is reluctant, unwilling to listen, and waits too long to get anything done. If that person is you, you might try changing the pattern and just going for it.

Lola: There's an issue of simply "getting stuff done" in this relationship. Goals you two set aren't being met, probably because you're incredibly indulgent with each other. But it's like when you have a kid, if you spoil it, it's going to grow up to be an asshole. You're probably better at figuring this out.

Monkiki: Here's the funny thing about life: Everything progresses! I'm having a hard time with this reading, not only because there's currently an inter-office conversation about puppies and huffing drugs right behind me, but also because your question isn't focused. Which makes me think you're not, either. So I'm going to give you advice on that issue. You have the secret to your own existence in your heart. You're a lucky person but you tend not to give it too much credit. Start paying attention to what you have because it might slip away.

JEB: Hey there, charismatic king of fire! You're charging headlong into your karma today. Why are you worrying though? Have you done something to feel guilty about? (p.s. Or is it that something at work has you worried?)

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B Verliker: You have real issues with checking what's going on inside yourself, with feeling connected to yourself. You have a hard time finishing anything, or letting yourself feeling the impetus to finish anything. You're the one keeping your universe in an in-between state. You can do whatever you need to do though if can change your beliefs about what seem like opposites actually being in opposition.

Lauren: I'm not so big on these "What's going to happen to me in the future?" kinds of questions--it seems too fatalist to accept what someone says is true (even if it is); instead I like to focus on the elements of the situation, what might make you do well, what could be a detraction. Know what I mean? Whatever's going on, y'all are getting reallllly emotional about it. It's good to have your hearts in a project, but work on the mental aspect of it too. That's an issue here.

TO EVERYONE: OK, please stop with the questions now. I'll end with Matthew.

Lili: Is this a question or a fucking riddle? Too unfocused, and I already gave the lecture about that. Sorry, I'm moving on.

Eliza: Yes! Question is, what kind of future? There's lots of enthusiasm and energy here (especially on your part) and you two work well together.

Andrew: I don't see anything that implies motion, so maybe not. I do see a new love though. a big new love. You might feel like you've got a lot to lose (and a lot to gain) from this--go slow though. Don't fuck on the first night.

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Juice: Again with the riddle-question! Are you the same person who wrote about her legs being trains or whatever? Still, I can tell you're sincere, and you're the only person who's thanked me ahead of time so I'll see what I can do… I'd say pull back on this one. I can tell you're super excited about this person but you've probably had your hopes dashed and the way you're framing the situation mentally isn't on-point.

Lostlil: You are a sweet princess, intuitive, and loving. I mean, I could tell even from your question (you asked if he'd be happy too) but that also came up in your cards. I see a good deal of strenth here, though maybe it's sometimes enforced balance and it can seem a little stiff. You don't have to defend yourself as much as you think you do.

David: I already said I'm not a psychic. Because you wasted your question on this shit, I'm taking one extra.

Matthew: Dig through your laundry and dress like someone who's bottomed out. A "starving artist" of your choosing. I promise you the cards say this!

Lili: Baby, I'm sorry you're disappointed. But seriously, your question sounded like a math problem!

Ano: This question radiates love. Huge love, companionship, family, all that good stuff. There is so much love for this animal it's sort of suffocating him. There's too much order, and it's causing stress. Pull back a little. He'll get better.

TO EVERYONE: Thanks for trusting me to give advice. Time for me to go now though--bye.