It's shorts weather! Now is the happy time of the year when we begin to discover exciting things about people's bodies, like what old people's toes look like (thanks) or, oh I don't know, that our coworker has a tattoo of the Dalai Lama on his calf. So we took a minute from our busy work day to ask him WTF. Read away.So… You're big-upping the Dalai Lama on your calf. I take it you're a fan?
I've never met him, but yeah in general.In general? So you're into "peace" is what you're saying?
More so than war, yeah.Uh, touche, I guess. How do you feel about the fact that he's calling it quits in a year or so?
I know that he was offered a teaching position at a college in New York. I just heard about that last night. Somebody said he's going to be teaching some curriculum and there's going to be a major based around him.Great. So now schools'll start having Lama Studies departments. But you aren't upset that he's giving up Lamadom to become some lazy academic? It doesn't tear your Lama-loving heart in two?
I don't really mind.Doesn't bug you one bit?
Nope.But he's the head bodhisattva--you can't just decide to "call it a day." The Pope couldn't just be like, "Eh, I'm getting pretty tired of all this Poping," could he?
Yeah, of course the Pope could. I mean, there'd be big backlash. But the reason I like the Dalai Lama isn't because he's the head of that big Tibetan diaspora, I like him for his beliefs on existence and how to treat other people.What are some of your favorites?
Um… I don't really--There's a lot of people around who say that they're Buddhist, I mean it's been the hip thing to do for the past however many years. And I don't really get into the whole "life is suffering" thing. Just when the Dalai Lama says, you know, it's not that hard to be respectful to people you don't know, maybe you should try it a little while.But couldn't that same thing have been said by a chill Jesus or a lucid surfer?
Yep.So why not just have Jesus hanging ten across your leg instead of Johnny Tibet?
I got this when I was working at a tattoo shop, and the guys there said they'd do it for free if I were to get the Dalai Lama on one calf, Martin Luther King on the other, then Hitler and Stalin on my shins. So that I'd have the calves of compassion and the shins of sin.But you only got Dalai.
Yeah, I didn't take them up on the offer because I didn't want to get Adolf Hitler tattooed on me.Or MLK?
Nope.So just the Lama. And you're totally fine that after being found he was lavished with finery for years while the rest of Tibet struggled to survive?
I don't think people should be punished for the positions they were born into.Wait, isn't that the point of Buddhism and reincarnation? Or is it that the position you're born into is already your punishment? Anyway, this is getting sort of boring, what other tats have you got?
This is the first one I got. It's my brother, my mom, and my dad.Pretty classic. What's going on with the heart?
My fiancee and I both got this tattoo, then she broke up with me when I moved to New York.OK, and the teddy bear?
I'm not really painting a good portrait of myself right there. When I moved to New York, it was with these four other guys. We all lived together in the same house, so we all got the same bear design. Different colors but same bear.So you were like the teddy bear posse. Did you have a posse name or motto?
No, that'd just be taking it too far.Um, I think getting matching children's teddy bears is taking it a bit far to begin with, you know?
Yeah, I guess the line's already been crossed.INTERVIEW BY A.H. DICKHEDD
I've never met him, but yeah in general.
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More so than war, yeah.Uh, touche, I guess. How do you feel about the fact that he's calling it quits in a year or so?
I know that he was offered a teaching position at a college in New York. I just heard about that last night. Somebody said he's going to be teaching some curriculum and there's going to be a major based around him.Great. So now schools'll start having Lama Studies departments. But you aren't upset that he's giving up Lamadom to become some lazy academic? It doesn't tear your Lama-loving heart in two?
I don't really mind.Doesn't bug you one bit?
Nope.But he's the head bodhisattva--you can't just decide to "call it a day." The Pope couldn't just be like, "Eh, I'm getting pretty tired of all this Poping," could he?
Yeah, of course the Pope could. I mean, there'd be big backlash. But the reason I like the Dalai Lama isn't because he's the head of that big Tibetan diaspora, I like him for his beliefs on existence and how to treat other people.What are some of your favorites?
Um… I don't really--There's a lot of people around who say that they're Buddhist, I mean it's been the hip thing to do for the past however many years. And I don't really get into the whole "life is suffering" thing. Just when the Dalai Lama says, you know, it's not that hard to be respectful to people you don't know, maybe you should try it a little while.
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Yep.So why not just have Jesus hanging ten across your leg instead of Johnny Tibet?
I got this when I was working at a tattoo shop, and the guys there said they'd do it for free if I were to get the Dalai Lama on one calf, Martin Luther King on the other, then Hitler and Stalin on my shins. So that I'd have the calves of compassion and the shins of sin.But you only got Dalai.
Yeah, I didn't take them up on the offer because I didn't want to get Adolf Hitler tattooed on me.Or MLK?
Nope.So just the Lama. And you're totally fine that after being found he was lavished with finery for years while the rest of Tibet struggled to survive?
I don't think people should be punished for the positions they were born into.Wait, isn't that the point of Buddhism and reincarnation? Or is it that the position you're born into is already your punishment? Anyway, this is getting sort of boring, what other tats have you got?
This is the first one I got. It's my brother, my mom, and my dad.Pretty classic. What's going on with the heart?
My fiancee and I both got this tattoo, then she broke up with me when I moved to New York.OK, and the teddy bear?
I'm not really painting a good portrait of myself right there. When I moved to New York, it was with these four other guys. We all lived together in the same house, so we all got the same bear design. Different colors but same bear.So you were like the teddy bear posse. Did you have a posse name or motto?
No, that'd just be taking it too far.Um, I think getting matching children's teddy bears is taking it a bit far to begin with, you know?
Yeah, I guess the line's already been crossed.INTERVIEW BY A.H. DICKHEDD