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SCIENCE FICTION YOU CAN GET STONED TO

Despite what being high would have you believe, there are some sci-fi movies that you should never ,ever watch high. First and screamingly foremost on this list is

. How in the hell is this movie considered a stoner classic? It's longer than God's balls. I don't know if it's a thing where potheads back in the 60s had longer attention spans (like how people in the 1800s could sit through seven-hour sermons or whatever), but if you put this on after eating a couple brownies, I promise you will be out cold before the first word of English is spoken. Either that or in the kitchen trying to make something out of Worchestershire Sauce, pita bread, and 1 egg. Another weird one is

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The Jerk

. We know this movie is not considered sci-fi

per se

, but it's still extremely confusing. Is Steve Martin supposed to be retarded? Did retarded people act like spazzy Gomer Pyles up until the mid-80s or something? Also, what's going on with the scene where he invents a device to fix that guy's glasses and it takes him like two seconds? This is a character who by the end of the movie still doesn't understand the concept of different races--is he supposed to be some sort of idiot-savant mechanical genius? I also never got why everyone in the movie is so nice to him until the lawsuit. Even the Japanese guy who calls his dog "shithead" is pretty polite about it. It's strange. Anyways, the guys here who do

Motherboard

have set up a little screening series starting tonight that would go perfectly with a nice, long Jamaican shower. We don't think that's necessarily what they had in mind when they put it together (they're nerds), but they still hit the nail on the pothead:

Tonight:

Daft Punk's

Electroma

looks like it might suffer from the same problems as

, but its pace is a lot quicker and it is exactly like every DMT trip we've ever been on.

Jan 7, 2010:

Blade Runner

is full of all sorts of insane future-things you wish they'd make (like those light-up umbrellas and crazy ziggurat buildings) and has a plot that's a bit of a mind-screwer without all the voiceover the studio made them tag on. (That's the version we're showing.)

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Jan 21, 2010:

Caprica

is this new series on the SyFy channel that's supposed to be a prequel to

Battlestar Galactica

. We don't know if you like that show or not, but we do (it was a slow burn). Maybe aim for sort of a half-buzz on this one, because there'll probably be a lot of exposition and stuff you'll want to keep straight. Go

here

for even more info. See you there tonight!

For the record, other great sci-fi movies to get stoned to include Alien, Aliens, that Alien movie by the City of Lost Children director with the weird hybrid humalien at the end, Predator, Predator 2 (BIG TIME), Buckaroo Bonzai, the Ice Pirates, any of the Gamera movies in color, THX 1138 if you're artsy, Wizards, Heavy Metal, Rolly Polly, Dune, old episodes of Star Trek from the 60s, Terminator 2, Demolition Man, the Fifth Element, the Omega Man, Sleepers, Trilogy of Terror, Children of Men, Flight of the Navigator, Waterworld, Total Recall, the Road Warrior and Beyond Thunderdome, that 2012 movie, and Speed Racer. Other bad ones include the first Terminator, the Last Starfighter, Sunshine, Solaris, the Tarkovsky version of Solaris, Star Wars, post-60s Star Trek, Stargate, Barbarella, the Twilight Zone, the Twilight Zone movie, Any of the Planet of the Apes movies (except 3 and 5), Soylent Green, A.I., Westworld, Alien3, Mad Max, pretty much any sci-fi movie made prior to let's say 1965, and Gattaca.

[Note: we're not saying these movies are bad, just that they aren't great to watch while high. Though some of them are, in fact, very terrible.]