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Vice Blog

NEW YORK - CAR TRIPS

Quiz time! A couple of weekends ago a friend of ours ate a quarter-ounce of mushrooms at midnight. An hour and a half in, right when the puke-throat thing was at its peak, he stumbled into the top car and gasped as if his mother had suddenly materialized in front of him in a cop car. Then at around eight the next morning, on his way home to crash, he came upon car number two. The question is: Which was the worse trip and why? Please note before posting your responses that with the "Sinnner" car, our buddy had been reading and trying to pronounce all the license plates on the block before hitting it, and with the burnt one there was a completely untouched baby blanket in the open trunk and the scorch marks on the door resembled the airbrushed head of a gray squirrel (inset). Oh and in both cases he was walking with a non-tripping person, but hadn't spoken to them in at least 10 minutes (not counting the plate readings). Answer below.

"The burnt car was definitely sadder on account of the blanket, but the Sinnner car was the worse trip overall because the three Ns made me simultaneously think of the KKK and "nigger," which turned into me being a member of the Klan on account of latent racism (we all are, I discovered) and God (in the guise of this black car) calling me out on this. For the closest guess, I would go with the guy who said Knight Rider."