Most skateboarders would agree that skateboards are radical to the max. But what do the people not involved in skateboarding think? “Why should I care?” I hear you say, and rightly so. Who cares? Who gives a heck what the ballerina thinks of boxing gloves? Or what the shark thinks of television? Who cares what the cat thinks of my haircut or the tilt of my penis? Who cares? No one cares. But the fact remains that I had to review these six decks without damaging them. They had to be in a resalable condition so I could move them on eBay. So in the interest of paying my rent, I went for a walk around the block and asked the general public what they think of these boards.
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Peter: It looks OK to me.Yeah, but what else?You should ask my grandsons what they think about it. But, it looks OK to me.What do you like about it?Who is this guy here?I don’t know. Just some evil dude, I guess.Looks like one of those cartoon characters… I think it’s okay.What don’t you like about it? Is there anything you’d change?No.No?I wouldn’t change anything. It’s OK.What would you give it out of ten?I would say, as far as I know about these things… I would say ten.Ten out of ten?Yeah.You wanna take it for a shred?Would I like to try it?Yeah.No.Can I ask you something?What?Have you ever done a Mohawk?Oh yes, I’ve made Mohawks.How many Mohawks have you done?I don’t know.Like… 50?I’ve done a few.How much does a Mohawk cost these days?The same as any other cut. Do you want one?No.That’s fine.
Chris: It looks very nice. It’s beautifully made.Yeah.And I like the stuff on the back.OK.I guess these holes here are for putting the wheels in, are they?Yeah, that’s where you attach the trucks.The what?The trucks. They’re like the axles or whatever.Hmmm. It looks very comfortable. How do they get it to be that shape?
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Julian: Who’s Ricky?This is his pro-model.What?It’s like… Michael Jordan has a shoe. Ricky Oyola has a board. Get it?Is he good?Yeah. He is.I don’t know about this. Do we really need to see his name?That’s just how it is. The pros put out boards with their names on them.But will that make you skate as good as Ricky?Maybe. Probably not.So, he’s that popular that if you have a Ricky skateboard it makes you… hip?Yes. That’s how it works.And you become pro instantly?
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Lisa: I think that this is sooo cool.Yeah?And when I was younger I used to skateboard.No you didn’t.Yeah. I did.Did not.I did!Really?When I was 14.Did you like it?It was fun!Would you do it again, like now?Oh yeah.No way! You’d be like that Chinese lady with the rollerblades!Oh! You seen her? I love her!The helmet and the reflector vest!She comes by here every day!I know, I live down the street. She is sooo slow!I love her.What do you think of the artwork on this board?I like the artwork. I think the design is awesome. I would feel safe on this skateboard.You’d feel safe?I would!What do you think of the graffiti?
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Pedro: It’s perfect man! It’s beautiful! I mean, I don’t know nothing about the skateboards, but this one is… so good.You like it?I like it, you know? The colors, the materials… it’s so good.It’s nice right?It’s very good, very good. I think that one is perfect.So you’re giving it ten out of ten?Yeah, man. Ten out of ten for sure. It’s perfect.How’s the ice-cream business going?The ice-cream business?Yeah, how is it?Pretty good, man. We have 56 years in the business!Jesus! Really?Yeah, it’s nice, man. It’s very good.That’s a long time!Can you believe Home Depot is only 30 years? And we are 56 years in the business.That’s amazing.Yeah, man.Where do you go to the bathroom?Huh?Where do you piss?Across the street, man! Where do you think?At the Papaya Hut?
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Sky: Wow! High school romance, I like it! I like the girl and the tears. I like the rejection.The rejection?Yeah! She’s crying and her boyfriend’s got the bent knees, he’s sort of saying, like “Sorrrrrrryyyyy, I can’t go to the prom with you.”He might have given her crabs.Maybe. What’s she saying? “Do you think I’m pretty?” the answer is obviously “No.”She doesn’t look that bad though.No. I think she’s hot.As a fireman do you feel an overwhelming compulsion to help her?I do actually! Yes.Did you become a fireman to save lives or…Yeah, to help people.You didn’t do it for the chicks?Chicks?! Not for chicks! Jesus. I got a girlfriend.OK. What would you change?About being a fireman? Being a fireman is the best job in the world. I wouldn’t change a thing.No, no. I mean the board.Ah… I wouldn’t change anything about it. Although, it looks like a girl-specific board.What makes you say that?Well, if it said, “Do you think I’m handsome?” I would think differently.Oh. Well, "Pretty" is the company name.Oh, right. Hey, do you get to keep the boards when you’re done?I guess. Do you want it?Can I have it?Yeah.Thanks! I think it’s reeeally Pretty now.
JASON CROMBIE
