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Gabby: That’s not a rumour, though. I started a rumour about Jo and her boyfriend. First of all, she likes him to pee on her in the shower.Is that the rumour?
No, that was real. Then I actually extended it with a rumour that she enjoys sitting under glass and watching her boyfriend shit on top of it.
Jo: Yeah, but I quickly set everyone straight and told them it wasn’t a fetish of mine.
Johnny: I’ve pissed in her hundreds of times!In her? Jesus. Did people believe the rumour?
Gabby: Yeah, because she's into that kind of thing, so it wasn't hard to believe.
Johnny: Gabby’s a very convincing person and people trust her. Oh, I've got a funny rumour – camel toe! [points at Jo]
Jo: Yeah, yeah, yeah – I've got a camel toe and I like shitting on glass doors.Alright. I'll let you get to it, then.

No one sprayed hairspray in anyone’s face, though. It was a completely fabricated lie. I was young and stupid and I thought it was funny. We laughed for years and we’re still laughing now.Well, it is a very funny rumour. What would someone have to say about you for you to cut them out of your life?
They’d have to make up something really bad, like stealing.
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Okay, well, murdering someone, then.Could a rumour make you cry?
No, I’m too thick skinned. I don’t really care that much.

It was an ex-girlfriend. It ended really badly. I broke up with her and it got really messy. She gave me too many unwanted visits. She’d be waiting on the steps for me after I finished work.Didn’t that rumour make her go crazier?
This isn’t going in the magazine is it? It’s anonymous, right?Yeah.
Okay, yeah, she came back to me and said I was responsible for another guy breaking up with her because he heard the rumour. She deserved it, though.What if she ended up getting suicidal purely because of the rumour?
It would have taken a turn for the worse, I guess. This was a long time ago, though. I was 17. I wouldn’t do that type of thing now.That's good to know.

‘Cause he’s a DICK. It didn't affect me, though, because only the new kids believed him.Oh, that's fine; no one likes the new kids.

Because I was mean! And she was prettier than me. She stopped talking to me, but I didn't care. I was a cool kid so I was cool with it.
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That I was born a man.Were you?
No! I am 100 percent female, thank you very much.Hmm, I’m not convinced.

He found it funny eventually. It took a long, long time, though.Did you secretly want to fuck his mum? Was that why you started it?
No, I'm from Australia and that's just what we do there with mates – we fuck with each other. Although, I suppose I probably would have slept with his mum for real 10 years ago. Now? No way. She'd be old as fuck now.Previously - Do Dogs and Cats Understand Us?
