Old frenemies Arsene Wenger and Jose Mourinho had a bit of a civil donnybrook, a gentleman’s fuck you if you will, at UEFA’s coaching conference welcoming event. Held on transfer day, in Switzerland—the perfect setting for a chivalrous brouhaha—the conference attendees allegedly mixed it up with dulcet murmuring about…seating assignments? Seriously fellas, over who was closest to Capitaine Headbutt?

Spanish newspaper Marca first reported upon the assnine, yet refined, dust-up, but we’re going with the wrap-up of the idiotically reserved “clash” via The Daily Express:

Mourinho reportedly wanted to sit next to Paris Saint-Germain’s Unai Emery and Real Madrid’s Zinedine Zidane for Sir Alex Ferguson’s opening speech, with Wenger close by. But when the current Manchester United manager asked if he could sit there, Wenger is said to have replied without hesitation: ‘No, it is not possible.’ Marca add that several observers laughed discretely, while others pretended they had not heard the awkward exchange.

Soccer hooliganism, will it never end?