Congrats to Obama! But before you start planning your Obamarama dinner party, take a moment to consider the forgotten and distressed. Although in your bubble of liberalism you might think that everyone would be thrilled about America’s gradual progression towards a political system which might actually do something right someday, in fact large swathes of America are furious about it.
It doesn’t seem right, after such a win for democracy and liberalism, to mock those less fortunate than ourselves, so I’ve compiled a selection of tweets that can help us to empathize with Republicans everywhere, as well as to answer the question: What sort of person hates Barack Obama?
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Maria likes:
– #Bieber2012
– Time off school
– Louis Vuitton trainers
– The snack Reeses Peanut Butter Cups
– Special effects make-up
– The Bible
– Louis from pop band One Direction
Trisha Paytas likes:
– YouTube
– Her breasts
– Being a mix of “Woody Allen and your local hooker”
– Catholicism
– Candles
– Tall Men
– Christina Aguilera’s hair
– The idea of being entirely supported by an oil tycoon
Ted Nugent likes:
– God
– Hunting
– Taking pictures of dead things
– Venison jerky
– Pictures of women holding guns
– Slaughtering pigs from helicopters with machine guns
Linda likes:
– Retweeting other angry Republicans
– The military
– God
– Conspiracy theories
– God-fearing Christian Americans
– #FAITH
stars and bars babe likes:
– The word nigger
– Sweet tea
– The word ass
– The movie Despicable Me
– Hunting camp
– Real men
– Unregistered firearms
– Gay rights
Ryan Payne likes:
– Fooling around
– The pop icon Taylor Swift
– New Balance velcros
– Boobies
– The word poop
– The musician Kendrick Lamar
– Soccer
tasha?james likes:
– Jesus
– Halloween
– A guy who would randomly buy her flowers
– The musician Dierks Bentley
– The cereal Honey Smacks
– Not having to set her alarm
Tracey Neumann likes:
– Cups of tea
– Cuddling
– The film Magic Mike
– Complaining that she feels “hollow”
– The TV programme Dexter
– Comparing Obama to Adolf Hitler
Gingerballz9 likes:
– The REM song “Man On The Moon”
– The TV show South Park
– The band Muse
– The band Coheed and Cambria
– The band Foo Fighters
– Anti-feminist jokes
– Getting stoned
– Comparing Barack Obama badly in relative terms to the Pearl Harbor attacks
Leah likes:
– God
– Coffee
– Praying
– Aggressive politicians
– The fried chicken restaurant Chick-fil-a
– Banning birth control
– Feminism
Donald J. Trump likes:
– The idea of marching to the White House and staging a coup of the legitimately elected government
– The concept of global warming having been invented by the Chinese as part of a conspiracy to get Obama re-elected
– The idea of a President who won’t “bow to the Saudis”
– Reality TV’s #1 Bad Girl “Omarosa”
– The World’s greatest golf course (which he owns)
– Hanging out with Mitt Romney
Owh, poor things!
Follow Bertie on Twitter: @bertiebrandes
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