In the hopes of commemorating the rapidly approaching London Fashion Week, London's Riding House Café, which touts itself as a "modern all-day brasserie," has just unveiled a forthcoming cocktail menu that brilliantly pulls inspiration from some of the fashion industry's most iconic insults.
And as history will undoubtedly show, it requires an objectively bad bitch of meteoric proportion to bring about a basic-bitch-cocktail renaissance. Thankfully, Kate Moss is just that bad of a bitch, ostensibly.
READ: Fuck Pumpkin Spice
How bad are we talking? Bad enough for the iconic British supermodel to have inadvertently inspired a cocktail craze vis-à-vis a highly publicized drunken outburst.
It seems that early this summer, Moss was returning from Turkey after celebrating a friend's birthday there. She boarded an EasyJet plane and, according to one passenger who spoke to the Daily Mail, began to get a "little drunk" by sipping on a bottle of vodka she'd brought onboard. Police officers were evidently called to remove the inebriated supermodel from the plane after it landed at London's Luton Airport. Apparently a little miffed at being escorted off the plane, Moss threw an insult at the female pilot, calling her that insult of insults: a "basic bitch."
As you undoubtedly know from countless trend pieces on the term, basic bitches are those who favor the overdone norm, stereotyped as wearing Juicy Couture sweatpants, quaffing drinks like the "Cosmo," and appreciating mainstream fare such as TLC's bridal programming. Perhaps rightly so, the term has been criticized and re-appropriated by those who claim it is misogynistic and insulting to women.
The Riding House Café, however, is spinning the term in a new direction. The Basic Bitch drink now being served there elegantly elevates "basicness" to heretofore unseen levels with a staggering total of two components: homemade spiced rum and Punt e Mes. (What's with the resounding lack of frozen yogurt, crushed Valium, and floating bits of UGG boot fur?, some might argue.)
But if you don't happen to have an ungodly obsession with pumpkin spice and maxi dresses, you could always get your Joan Rivers on and double-fist a couple of Reverse Beyoncés, which Metro reports to consist of gin, Cherry Heering, lemon juice, and egg white. The term evidently comes from a Rivers joke on Fashion Police, where she cracked that Elle Fanning "actually dresses better than her big sister, Dakota. Which is what we in the fashion world call a 'Reverse Beyoncé.'"
The British brasserie is also offering a Pippa Middleton-inspired drink with raspberry, apple, gooseberry, and honey called "Only Show Her Back." The name, of course, comes from an insult wrapped in a compliment that was hurled by Karl Lagerfeld in Pippa's direction, following the royal wedding and the media storm created by her rear-end-enhancing bridesmaid's dress.
The final Fashion Week offering appearing on the Riding House's newfound cocktail menu is an ode to the unrivaled icon that is Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour. This one consists of Tanqueray Gin, Benedictine, Cocchi Americano, and lemon bitters, and is aptly named "The Nobody," presumably describing the 99.9 percent of us who will never grace the glossy pages of Wintour's magazine.
Hey, Riding Horse: How about the "Not Deeply Tasteful"? That's the affliction that Anna W. implied Kim and Kanye were suffering from, although she put them on a Vogue cover anyway. We'd recommend Yellowtail with plenty of ice and a splash-and-a-half of club soda.
That one's our gift to you, Riding Horse Café. Bottoms up.