Sure, Peterson has since denied it was chew that caused him to vomit on the plane. He has instead cited a shellfish allergy as the reason for his sickness, though it's clear he's trying to keep team secrets from getting out. The NFL is a copycat league, after all.It's not just the team's star running back who has taken to bad habits; it was revealed last week that the Vikings have a team donut club that meets on Saturday mornings. There are few foods worse for you than donuts. All that processed sugar and carbs. You might as well be signing up for a nap every time you eat one. I am writing from a position of knowledge here: in addition to poorly writing about football, I also work part-time as a furniture mover, because I'm poor and unqualified for everything. More often than any other food, customers want to offer movers donuts. Why? Why give someone you have hired to move your stuff food that is guaranteed to make them sluggish? I'll never understand it. That may be my lack of a NFL mentality, though, because it's clearly working wonders for this football team.Read More: Charm City Comedown: How Baltimore Hit Rock Bottom
When even Chris Brown thinks you seem like an asshole. — Photo by Erich Schlegel-USA TODAY Sports
Kirk Cousins' outburst may have garnered the majority of the attention, but let's not ignore R*dskins teammate Terrance "Pot Roast" Knighton dubbing himself a selfless player after the game. That shouldn't be an attribute you can self-ascribe, though maybe Pot Roast is so selfless he can transcend his own body and identify that characteristic as his spirit moves through the ether. Makes you think.Cris Collinsworth Believes Racism and Success Are Mutually ExclusiveA Philadelphia Eagles loss that featured an array of wide receiver drops is bound to include discussion of all the skill players that Chip Kelly has either sent or allowed to get away in the past few years. Naturally, that will include mentioning the accusation of racial bias that LeSean McCoy leveled at Kelly. Cris Collinsworth was not really having that, and made a very curious remark to close out his rambling thoughts on the matter. Discussing Kelly's career, Collinsworth said, "You don't get to where he is with some of the issues that was raised." Oh, for real? It must be nice to live in Collinsworth's idealized America, where it's difficult for small-minded bigots to get ahead.Ima say this and say this once. My job is not to make 10 tackles and have 3 sacks. I get damn near double teamed every play. Selfless player
— Terrance Knighton (@MisterRoast98)October 25, 2015
The National Football League is no place for this type of emotion, or any other. — Photo by Jeremy Brevard-USA TODAY Sports
Cam Newton didn't have his best stat line in Sunday night's win over the Eagles, although one of his interceptions came on another debatable call; it might have been a catch, even, if only the NFL knew how to define things like "catch." Either way, the Panthers are undefeated and Cam is a legit MVP candidate in 2015, having brought out the best in a supporting cast that can mostly be filed under "Waiver Wire X-Treme."Some folks, such as noted former backup quarterback Sage Rosenfels, have a problem with how Newton has done all this. Sage can't come up with much about Cam's game to criticize, so he knocks his tendency to court attention, as though there's a superstar quarterback in the NFL who eschews either attention or advertising dollars. Meanwhile, the most enduring play of Sage Rosenfels' career remains the time he was turned into a helicopter and fumbled.McCown, Meet WallFor all the haters please let me explain. Cam is a really good & talented QB. Top 10 in NFL. I prefer 1 who doesn't love the CAMera so much.
— Sage Rosenfels (@SageRosenfels18)October 26, 2015
Seeing Greg Hardy fight with coaches and teammates was bad enough, but we almost saw Johnny Manziel, who is currently being investigated for domestic violence, in the game on Sunday after Cleveland Browns starting quarterback Josh McCown ran into a wall early in the second quarter. McCown was allowed to stay in the game. This being the NFL, though, the circumstances surrounding that decision were highly questionable and need to be looked into, as does the Bills' decision to put LeSean McCoy immediately back in the game against the Jaguars after he took a vicious hit to the head.
In other head-injury-related news, the NFL is contributing matching funds to a research team headed by a doctor who thinks the CTE crisis is overblown and football players are mostly struggling in retirement because they aren't important famous people anymore. It's all going great.What Do These Things Have in Common?
Chartering a plane to fly your sports trash talk is a silly thing, though I admit that Jets fans have provided the world with inspired moments using this method in the past. The "Clinton/Patriots/OJ" banner that flew over Gillette Stadium yesterday could have used a little more thought, however. What is the message implied there? I suppose, approaching it from a certain political bent, it connects people who got off on various charges due to technicalities. Either way, your sport trash talk should be clearer and possibly more profane, and probably less opaquely partisan. Do better next time.Todd Bowles WatchSomeone paid money to fly this banner above Gillette Stadium — Mark Daniels (@MarkDanielsPJ)October 25, 2015
Cheers to Ashley—Queen Trashley, if you're nasty—who was set to celebrate her 24th birthday late last week with a visit to Levi's Stadium to watch her beloved San Francisco 49ers take on the hated Seattle Seahawks. Not that it should have come as a huge surprise, but the Niners got trashed by the defending NFC champs.As some point during the game, an inflatable penis bearing the name of 49ers owner Jed York fell to Ashley from the upper reaches of the stadium, like manna from heaven, so she and her friend posted a photo with it on social media, as one does. The tweet went viral and websites gladly made her over as #content, enough so that, were Jed York to Google himself—don't do it, Jed, it is not worth it—he'd be seeing a big ol' dong bearing his name. In a season that's been a sad mess so far, the Niners finally have their YAAAAAAAASSSSS QUEEN moment.Thanks for fucking us this season — Queen Trashley ☾ (@trashleyyxo)October 23, 2015
Five Winners Who Covered Their Bloodline in Glory1. Kawann Short2. Stefon Diggs3. Lamar Miller4. Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie5. Kirk CousinsFive Losers Bathing in the Hard Water of Infinite Shame1. Bill O'Brien / the entire Houston Texans team2. E.J. Manuel3. Dwayne Gratz4. Matt Cassel5. Miles AustinAs for Tonight…When you google Jed York….. — Queen Trashley ☾ (@trashleyyxo)October 23, 2015