Everything You Need to Know About Dating a Pisces

"Signs of Love" is a column in which astrologer Danny Larkin breaks down what it's like to date each zodiac sign.

If you want to take the dive and date someone born in the sign of the fish, keep in mind that they have a reputation for being the most creative sign of the zodiac. Instead of inviting a Pisces to the bar you frequent every day, try a place with live music or a performance, like a Spanish restaurant with a flamenco band or a jazz club that serves dinner. Pisces are also known as dreamers and idealists, which can sometimes translate to hopeless romanticism—so if you’re not sure whether your fish would appreciate a musical date, it’s a safe bet to plan a good old-fashioned intimate dinner for two somewhere you can play footsies.

Remember Pisces’ idealism and creativity during discussions, too: When conversation turns to work, don’t try to impress them with fancy titles. Instead, tell them a story about the time you rocked a brainstorming session or blurted out an idea in a stream of consciousness that ended up being a winner. They’ll love hearing about the power of your imagination. When flirting with a Pisces, they can be bubbly and obvious in their affection for you, and sometimes act so perky and sweet that you wonder if they’re on something. In conversation, they can overdo it on the power of positive thinking, but no matter how unrealistic their optimism seems or how outlandish their dreams sound, resist the urge to burst their bubble at all costs. If a Pisces can’t dream and imagine with their lover, who can they share their fantasies with?

As you get to know your Pisces, you’ll learn to love their highly active imagination. This quality makes them the most amazing person to take to a museum, movie, or concert, as they tend to offer the most creative interpretations when you trade notes. As you become more intimate, a Pisces will invite you to become part of their own special world, and it’ll feel like an honor.

Pisces is a mutable sign, which means it’s associated with adaptability, flexibility, and sympathy. Though these qualities are generally positive—Pisces are also said to be the most psychic sign of the zodiac, and definitely among the most empathetic—its mutability can also manifest as a frustrating chameleon complex. A Pisces will constantly try to adapt to your mood and emotional state, and then unilaterally decide they must sacrifice their own needs to tend to yours, even when no one asked them to! For example: You and your Pisces get together for dinner after an annoying day at work, and they surmise that your day was harder than theirs so they should just shut up and listen to you instead of sharing what’s really bothering them. In reality, you feel fine after 10 minutes of venting and want your Pisces to open up and vent, too!

One of Pisces’ worst habits is using their happy-go-lucky demeanor to deflect sharing their messier truths, which can leave you feeling like you constantly have to pry to get to their true feelings. And once a Pisces shares their personal thoughts, it’s like opening the floodgates—what should have been a simple conversation about forgetting to respond to their text turns into an hour-long discussion about how it made them feel! The reason a Pisces doesn’t share what’s truly on their mind is rooted in their idealism, too: They’re either so optimistic that they think a problem will simply go away on its own, or so terrified of getting dumped that they won’t open up lest they become a burden.

This combination of romanticism and fragility is often Pisces’ biggest flaw: They leave things unsaid hoping that their partner can intuit their feelings, or worse yet, believe that someone must have the ability to read their mind in order to be the right partner. Since it’s very unlikely that you’re an actual psychic, the best you can do is create an environment where a Pisces feels safe to let their guard down. Plan a coffee date, don’t let your problems dominate the conversation, and tell your Pisces how much you appreciate their support for you. If there’s anything large or small they want to talk about, just make sure they know you’re all ears. Pisces thrive with a little reassurance!

This also translates to the bedroom with Pisces. Sex with this water sign can be dreamy, romantic, and super hot—especially since Pisces enjoy serving their lovers—but only if you can get them to open up. Your best bet is to shower them with compliments and pepper even the most banal sexual encounter with small romantic gestures, like giving a neck kiss during an extremely rushed nooner.

If you don’t figure out how to get a Pisces to open up, you’re in for hell when they have a meltdown and accuse you of never caring in the first place. It will be futile to try and explain that in your own way, you asked them how they were doing several times. With water signs like Pisces, it’s not just about what you say, but also how you say it and how it feels to them in the moment. If you need to break up with a Pisces, get ready for them to play the victim. You’ll get lines about how it’s funny that you’re the one who wants to end things after they’ve supported you much more than you supported them. Don’t let this fish bait you. A Pisces may also say they’ll have a breakdown if you leave them. It’s best to reassure them that they’re more resilient than that, enforce your boundaries, and stick to your guns.

If you’re in it for the long haul with a Pisces, get ready for the thrill of being Alice in Wonderland. Pisces live in a magical, creative world and glow with the joy of making discoveries with their partner. Attune yourself to your Pisces’ tendency to caretake, and balance this energy in your relationship by putting them at ease and encouraging them to open up. When it’s right, you’re in for the ride of your life—you’ll constantly be surprised by what your Pisces dreams up next.

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