Wayne Gretzky and Rand Paul Are the Same Person, According to JonBenét Ramsey-Katy Perry Conspiracy Theorist

For whatever reason, the work of a YouTube conspiracy theorist named Dave Johnson has resurfaced and is setting off a rash of takes on whether Katy Perry is actually JonBenét Ramsey. Johnson has one trick: blending images together, and saying that two obviously different people are the same person. He has another video, from 2014, that 'proves' American politician Rand Paul is hockey icon Wayne Gretzky. Get ready to have your mind blown.

What inspired Johnson to do this in the first place? The video presents some pretty compelling evidence about Johnson's inspiration (and no other compelling evidence whatsoever): it sounds like our dude takes a fatty bong rip just over two minutes into his rant.

"Smoke 'em if you got 'em," Johnson says. "While that blends together, I'll go ahead and blend together something nice as well." [Cue long, bong-like bubbling noises in the background.]

The language Johnson deploys around his theories is fascinating as well. Johnson is a man of conviction. Listen to how he tells us that the real hoax is what we've been led to believe all along: that Wayne Gretzky and Rand Paul are two different people. What a fucking hoax! He also calls each of them "characters." Like, who is this Wayne Gretzky character?! It's just a persona, man. Just a persona.

Also, Gretzky's last game ever was against the Ottawa Senators. Rand Paul is a senator. Coincidence? I think not.

Maybe the best part of the whole thing is that this dude doesn't just stop at Wayne Gretzky and Rand Paul. He goes for the jugular: their dads. (He also does the same with Perry and Ramsey.) Throughout the entire thing, Johnson confuses the names of Rand and Ron Paul (maybe they're the same person too?!), but in the end he takes you home with the stark realization that even these characters' paternity is in on the act.

Watch out, you might be two people, too. Whoa, man.