How Not to Cook a Brisket in Your Bathtub

The people who live in an apartment building on Scheel Road in Knoxville, Tennessee seem to be a particularly industrious and ambitious group—at least when it comes to their culinary aspirations.

Should these apartment dwellers have a desire for a little barbecue, they don't let practical limitations get in their way. For example: No grill? No problem. Just set fire to the bathtub.

That's what one woman did earlier this week. A slight problem occurred, however: She literally melted her fiberglass tub while trying to cook a brisket in it.

Here's a crazy one, residents call fire department after woman tries to cook brisket in her bathtub #WATE #wasitgood pic.twitter.com/TdRJxRbW4O

— Ryan O'Donnell (@WATEODonnell) July 13, 2016

How does one cook a brisket in a tub, you ask? Well, according to local news reports, what you do—or at least what this woman did—is this: you light an open flame in the bottom of the tub. Yup. Then you place a wire rack over the flame, resting the rack on the upper edges of the tub. Finally, you put the meat on the rack, and voila! Delicious brisket with a delightfully soapy fragrance.

Unless and until your bathtub implodes, that is. Which this one totally did.

Knoxville Fire Department captain DJ Corcoran said that when the firefighters arrived at the apartment, they found a middle-aged woman fanning away light smoke, which was emanating from the interior of the apartment. Upon further investigation, the firefighters found a fire in the bathroom and the bathtub was, indeed, melting. The firefighters used the showerhead to extinguish the melting fiberglass—no report on why the woman couldn't just do that herself. Luckily, no one was hurt, although water from the tub poured down to the neighbors below.

An obligatory "don't try this at home" warning was promptly issued. In a press release, Corcoran wrote: "Now, this may sound tempting and tasty, but now comes our public service announcement; 'THIS IS NOT A SAFE PRACTICE, AND OVER 50% OF RESIDENTIAL FIRES INVOLVE COOKING.'"

Perhaps the strangest part of this barbecue tale may be that this was not the first and only indoor-grilling disaster to have been reported in this very same apartment building. According to the local firefighters, someone on the fourth floor of the building had previously tried to use a charcoal grill in their living room to cook.

We have a feeling some delightful ribs might be roasting right now on a flaming futon in Apartment 3C. Join us there?