Despite what the films of Spike Lee may indicate, there are probably more insidious threats to the average pizzeria than a blaring boombox and a trash can tossed through a window. For instance, maybe your pizzeria is incessantly being plagued by a shadowy figure who is actively doing their utmost to bring you to your doughy knees.
Earlier this month, we told you about a woman who was banned from ordering from her local Domino's because she had impossibly high standards when it came to jalapeños. No matter what Domino's did, there were never enough jalapeños for this extra-jalapeño-loving customer, so Domino's simply cut her off.
Now, a judge has banned a man in Sebastian, Florida from calling any local pizza joints. The judge said Randy Riddle, 49, has been harassing restaurants and is henceforth prohibited from calling for pizza delivery.
Back in June, Riddle began making calls to several local pizza places, including TJ's Pizza, Danny's Pizza, and others. Over three weeks, he ordered pies and refused to pay for them, sent the poor delivery dudes to fake or nonexistent addresses, or called the business "just to tell them their pizza was gross."
Riddle seems to have made an avocation of complaining about pizza places: He used five different phone numbers and false names. The businesses collectively said that they lost at least $667 thanks to Riddle's charade.
Florida Man Arrested For Weeks-Long Prank Call Campaign Against Area Pizza Places: Florida Man Randy Riddle… https://t.co/NdWjWw8HwS
— iruel alex raihan (@iruel_cute) August 12, 2016
Riddle really went all the way with his pizza-place harassment, according to court documents. He also called the police, city hall, and the department of health with complaints about the pizza. City officials said his behavior was belligerent. The police went so far as to create a flyer about the man and his nefarious deeds; they asked local restaurants to contact them if they were being harassed. Riddle was arrested on August 1 and is now out on bail. Meanwhile, all contact with pizza restaurants is off limits for him.
In what we can only assume is an unusual court remedy, a judge ruled: "[The] defendant shall refrain from calling any pizza establishment and/or making any harassing calls or his bond shall be revoked."
As we all know too well, there are a lot of angry people in America this summer of 2016—and some of them are taking their ire out on the people who sell us glorious pizza. Fortunately, some pizza joints are drawing a line, and others are being protected by the long arm of the law.
Things seem to be looking up for the antagonized pizza joints, but we're left with the niggling feeling that there's about to be a mysterious influx of bogus Chinese delivery orders.