Have you ever fantasized about bathing in a vat of warm cream and butter? Who hasn't, right? It's the ultimate erotic experience. Trust me. And while most people out there will never indulge in the feeling of balmy dairy caressing their inner thighs, tasting a triple crème will get you just that close.
As one of the most sensual endeavors, cheese has the ability to seduce. With closed eyes and an open mouth, that dairy melts on your tongue, coating and coaxing all the way down. In short, you are deep throating the finest lactose out there. So what makes a triple crème a triple crème? Although the mystery of the unknown is fun, let's break this whole thing down so you can at least know what it is that will have you shocked awake in the middle of the night in a pool of your own moisture.
All you'll want to do is find a secluded, dark place to explore the nether regions of your newfound love: the triple crème.
Triple crème cheeses like Pierre Robert, Brillat-Savarin, and Delice de Bourgogne are an incredibly creamy, buttery, mess of a bloomy rinded deliciousness. Rumored to have been created in Normandy by the Dubuc family around 1925, this relatively young creation—by cheese standards, at least—is made with full-fat milk, to which the cheesemaker adds cream. So you've got the fatty, rich milk from some blissed-out bovine munching on green grass in northern France, then these sexy cheese-making devils add in extra fat by way of creamy cream, so that the end result is a wholly euphoric experience of dairy delight. In order to be considered a triple crème, the cheese must have at least 75 percent butterfat. That's some good shit right there.
And while you might have had that one amazing experience rolling hard on E at the Sunset Party, these cheeses will top that. After just one taste, suddenly the sky seems brighter, smells are sweeter, and that hand caressing the small of your back feels like melting velvet. And all you will want to do is find a secluded, dark place to explore the nether regions of your newfound love: the triple crème. No dental dam required.
This post previously appeared on MUNCHIES in September, 2014.