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Entertainment

Amazon.com Reviewer Pens A Short Sci-Fi Story

If H.G. Wells wrote reviews for speaker cables, this is what they might read like.

It’s not unusual to write a short story that’s very, very short. Ernest Hemingway once wrote one in 6 words: “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” But it’s not every day you find a science fiction short in the Amazon customer reviews. Or maybe you do. After all, if there’s one thing the internet’s taught us, it’s to expect the unexpected in the strangest of places (and cats…expect lots of adorable cats in those places, too). But this particular story has no cats and was written by a user from California who calls himself Whisper on behalf of the AudioQuest K2 terminated speaker cable priced at a ridiculously expensive $6,800.00. Maybe the absurdly hefty price tag spurred on the creativity—a welcome change from the usual rage-filled keyboard flaming—or maybe the author planted the cable post himself. Either way, the story is as amusingly odd and entertaining as the circumstances of its publication. Titled I have only a little time…, you can read it below:

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I have only a little time…

We live underground. We speak with our hands. We wear the earplugs all our lives.

PLEASE! You must listen! We cannot maintain the link for long… I will type as fast as I can.

DO NOT USE THE CABLES!

We were fools, fools to develop such a thing! Sound was never meant to be this clear, this pure, this… accurate. For a few short days, we marveled. Then the… whispers… began.

Were they Aramaic? Hyperborean? Some even more ancient tongue, first spoken by elder races under the red light of dying suns far from here? We do not know, but somehow, slowly… we began to UNDERSTAND.

No, no, please! I don’t want to remember! YOU WILL NOT MAKE ME REMEMBER! I saw brave men claw their own eyes out… oh, god, the screaming… the mobs of feral children feasting on corpses, the shadows MOVING, the fires burning in the air! The CHANTING!

WHY CAN’T I FORGET THE WORDS???

We live underground. We speak with our hands. We wear the earplugs all our lives.

Do not use the cables!