Piers Morgan Stormed Off Set Because Meghan Markle Doesn’t Want to Be His Friend :(

Life is defined by circularity, is it not? The seasons come and go, the world spins on its axis and, if you wait for it long enough, Piers Morgan – slayer of snowflakes, King of Telling It Like It Is (particularly when “It” is “Excuse me, waiter, but my mashed potatoes are NOT warm enough; send out the chef to explain himself otherwise I WILL be informing an ombudsman”) – will walk off the set of Good Morning Britain because someone dared to say to his face that perhaps the reason he’s so unable to stop talking about Meghan Markle is that she doesn’t want to be his friend anymore.

Read: Piers Morgan Is Leaving ‘Good Morning Britain’

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Some backstory, for those who understandably need it: a few years ago, the two met for friendly drinks after chatting on Twitter. Following this rendezvous, Piers never heard from Meghan again. In his own words: “Meghan Markle ghosted me.”

The context for Piers’ Latest Little Outburst was of course the Oprah interview with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, which aired on ITV last night. From the very top of this morning’s GMB, the interview was clearly on Morgan’s mind (he said “we’ve all watched it now” about a second into the broadcast, before talking about the length of a co-host’s skirt, as he apparently lives in the year 1980), despite the fact it was heavily covered on yesterday’s show.

According to TV critic Scott Bryan, 76 percent of yesterday’s GMB broadcast was devoted to the Meghan and Harry interview.

Because Morgan talks over absolutely everyone – like a town crier who absolutely simps for Her Majesty – this meant a good chunk of airtime was given to his basically uninterrupted, red-faced outrage over his oft-stated stance that he doesn’t believe “a word” Meghan “says”. However, thankfully, guests including the lawyer, author and activist Dr. Shola Mos-Shogbamimu and the TV presenter Trisha Goddard provided some much needed clarity and sense.

This carried on into this morning’s programme, as co-presenter Alex Beresford rightly condemned the show’s – i.e. Morgan’s – obsessive and offensive coverage of Harry and Meghan.

Presumably, Beresford hit a nerve by telling Morgan, “I understand that you’ve got a personal relationship with Meghan Markle – or you had one, and she cut you off. She’s entitled to cut you off if she wants to.”

By picking at The Scab We Do Not Talk About – that is, the well known but largely unmentioned fact that Piers Morgan’s unhinged dislike of Meghan Markle is a result of the fact that she is a very beautiful and famous lady who no longer wants to be his friend – Beresford played Piers at his own game, vanquishing him from the set.

It seems that, for all Piers’ bravado, he simply can’t hack the fact that someone doesn’t like him, and that someone else said so on TV. I think his reaction matches that of what you might call… a snowflake?

(Also, give Alex Beresford his job, for all our sakes.)