It's the first day of real, actual fall, and over here at VICE's esteemed reviews and recommendations hub, Rec Room, we're stoked about it! Yes, we're decking out our homes in all the gothic kitsch decor of our dreams. Yes, we're using pumpkin-spice lube. Yes, our kitchens are already full of bean-bag-sized sacks of Halloween candy, which we will be eating before October even arrives.
Another great thing about entering the year's highly anticipated fourth quarter? Sales for eons, baby. Everyone is out here slashing prices like they're Jason in Friday the 13th. We've got sales on designer garb, doomsday prepper stuff, kitchenwares, and (ding ding ding) gift sets, if you wanna be smarter than the average bear and do some holiday shopping before things Get Crazy. Pick up a cozy sweater, a Carhartt tool bag, the most beautiful anal beads we've ever seen, and the perfect fall jacket at big-time markdowns, for yourself or for the sibling who can always tell when you get them a crappy, last-minute present. Put away your short shorts till next year, and get cozy like it's your job. The seasons are changin', and it's time for deals, deals, deals, with cinnamon and nutmeg.
Instant interior-design-influencer vibes
We're gonna be spending a lot of time in the kitchen the next few months, because it's about to be feast time. Finery fiesta Farfetch is currently offering 15% off a ton of stuff, including some really cool housewares, like these drop-dead gorg tinted wine glasses, a HAY ceramic coffee pot for brightening up your morning routine, and über-trendy Lex Pott candles—the squiggles that started a revolution. (If someone served us a pét-nat in those glasses, we'd make out with them on the spot.) Take 15% off at checkout for all of 'em, and a lot more on the site, including designer clothing, shoes, and accessories.
The perfect jacket for transitioning to fall
It's that funky time of year when some days it's 82 degrees, and then we see moments where the temps dip into the 60s. That's right: It's time to reacquaint our arms with long sleeves. Huckberry always delivers on outdoorsy menswear that's also slick enough for the city and combines practicality with rugged good looks—with this trucker jacket being no expectation. It's made of 100% cotton so it's lightweight, but the waffle weave adds a cozy element that's perfect for throwing over your broken-in band tee when the breeze comes through. And yo, it's $70 off right now.
The ridiculously popular doomsday-prepper LifeStraw
If you're genuinely stressed about the apocalypse showing up or just enjoy fantasizing about it, one of the quandaries you may ponder is how you'll get fresh water if our entire infrastructure collapses and you're forced to go slurp pond water out of a forest. That's where the cult-hit LifeStraw comes in, baybay. Despite its small size, its advanced filter system claims to eliminate 99.999999% of bacteria, 99.999% of parasites, and 99.999% of microplastics from the water you slurp through it—plus, you know, general crud, dirt, and gunk. Its microfilter is designed to de-crap-ify up to 4,000 liters of water, it has almost 80,000 reviews on Amazon with an average five-star rating—yep, that's bonkers—and it's on sale for 14% off right now.
A soothing lamp that does what you tell it to
The enemy is overhead lighting. We all know this by now. But sometimes, lamps can also be a pain in the ass, providing either not enough ambient lighting or way too much. That's where this futuristic 58" LED floor lamp (that's currently 33% off at Wayfair) comes in. When it's off, it takes up, like, no space whatsoever, but when it's on, its energy-efficient, built-in LEDs cast a fully customizable glow that can be dimmed to your taste. You can even adjust the brightness with the foot switch.
A Carhartt tool bag that makes us want to carry around a hammer all the time
It's no secret that we're big-time Carhartt stans, but it's not our fault that everything they make is durable, cool-looking, and generally perfect. Take, for instance, this tool bag, which, in addition to holding a frick-ton of stuff (it has a whopping 17 exterior pockets and 10 interior pockets, on top of the monster-sized main compartment) has all the workwear details that turn us on, from triple needle-stitch construction to a rugged, water-repellent coating.
"It's like Mary Poppins' bag over here," writes one reviewer. "I'm getting lost in all this space. This bag will hold all the tools you'll need for general maintenance and work, and then some. The fabric feels tough and strong." Big time *bicep emoji*. But of course, there's a lot of stuff you can put in it besides just tools. Lunch? Art supplies? All your fave sex toys? There are no rules.
The most stunning anal toy we've ever seen?
Speaking of sex toys, damn, this one is truly a looker. Over at Lovehoney, these iridescent glass anal beads are really glamming up the sale section. We're talking six inches of smooth, insertable glass, perfect for temperature play and compatible with any and every lube. And in addition to being a nightstand flex, this toy is perfect for beginners, with the beads' progressive sizing and the handy finger loop base for solid control and easy removal.
The platonic ideal denim jacket, plus other swaggy wardrobe additions
We are constantly drooling over pretty much everything over at designer/streetwear hub SSENSE, and right now, they're offering 10% off everything with the code SHOP10. Since their wares tend to be pretty pricey, that's a big deal, and means we're getting discounts on all our faves from Ray-Ban and Online Ceramics to Wacko Maria to Stone Island. Feeling overwhelmed? We recommend grabbing a Levi's denim jacket, if you don't already have one, and a cool-as-a-cucumber dad sweater like this Italian-made merino wool number.
An A+ gift set for that person in your life who needs to relaaaaaax
Is it too early to start shopping for gifts? We say no way—the earlier we can collect a pile of presents for the squad, the less of our hair will fall out when mid-December rolls around and we've procrastinated ourselves into a mental hell. This CBD Gift Set comes with CBD-rich yuzu-scented body butter and an accompanying skin and lip balm, for rubbin' away those achy muscles and finding your personal chillness center while also smelling like Japanese candy. Ideal for giving to your Cathy comic-esque sister or your perma-panicking boss, and it's 60% off this week.
For the friend who's really into charcuterie boards RN
We know you've got a family member or homie who's all into food presentation right now, because everyone does. Don't let them fall too deep into the bowels of food board TikTok; it's crazy over there. Keep it classy by gifting them (or yourself, if you're patient zero of Charcuterie Mania) this cheese board and knife set, which makes optimizing your meat 'n' cheese aesthetic a breeze. It all starts with a bamboo platter, but jazzed up with slide-out drawers, stainless steel knives and serving tools, five serving sections, and grooved edges for keeping your salami river in check. And ta-da—it's 29% off at Amazon .
A wealth of tasty vegan snacks
Bubble Goods, purveyor of healthy gourmet grocers, is having a big-time sale right now on all kinds of vegan stuff, from staples (oat milk) to treats (fancy nut butters). Two picks you've got to grab if you're plant-based (or even if you're not): packs of Rise Brewing Co.'s nitro oat milk lattes, which are beyond delicious (and both keto- and paleo-friendly), and Humble Nut Butter's Truffle Herb Walnut Butter, which is super umami and perfect for everything from wraps and sandwiches to noodles. Both are 50% off right now.
A trimmer for getting your body hair under control
Look, there's nothing wrong with being a burly, hairy-chested guy. In fact, we think it's a sick look. But, there are parts of your body where you don't want to be shrouded in a forest of curlies—your back, your nuts, fill in the blank. But do we really have to tell you that it's gross to use the same shaver on your face as on your pubes? We don't? OK, good. Meridian's popular trimmer is designed to tackle your below-the-belt areas, and its rust-resistant, replaceable ceramic blade is optimized to prevent nicks and snags in your most sensitive of areas. Plus, you can use it wet or dry, since it's shock- and waterproof. One reviewer who described the Meridian trimmer as "a perfect manscaper" says, rather descriptively: "I admit my nether region gets a tad unruly at times it's like taking a machete through jurrasic park [sic] and I have tried many methods to tame it from scissors to different kinds of electric trimmers these trimmers from meridian are [...] THE BEST I have ever used." You heard him! Right now, there's a $7-off coupon on Amazon if you wanna try it for yourself at a lower price.
An ultra-warm Uniqlo jacket, because winter is coming
We're not sure how many years have to pass after the finale of Game of Thrones for us to all agree to stop saying "winter is coming," but we're thinking that deadline is sometime in 2022 or 2023. In the meantime, we will simply remind you that it's gonna get cold soon—and that you will need a new winter jacket this year, since hopefully you'll be actually leaving your house this time, unlike The Cursed Winter of 2020. Uniqlo has a super-solid deal on its Men's Ultra Warm Down Coat, which comes in five colors and a wide range of sizes from XXS to 3XL. It's water-repellent, and has a pillow collar and that faux-fur trim on the hood that always makes you look ruggedly babely.
We know it's too early to go all in trick or treat jokes, so instead, we'll just say that we hope you enjoy jumping into this pile of crispy, fall-leaf-like deals. Cheers.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.