The Best ASMR Gifts for a Tingly Valentine's Day

We really wish “pandemic V-Day” was just another hardcore band instead of our imminent reality. But here we are, in a poly relationship with Omarion, trying to envision what the most sensual of holidays should look like at a time when we have to be extra cautious about social interactions, and talk of latex feels more CDC-kink than anything. In light of these often intangible times, we say: Why not try something a little different to conjure the feels this Valentine’s Day? That’s where the ASMR rides in on its noble steed, from one of the most fabulously fried corners of the interweb. 

New to ASMR? “Autonomous sensory meridian response” is basically a relaxing tingling sensation that occurs in the head and spine from sensory stimulation. YouTubers love it. Cardi B loves it. And now, it’s so popular as a concept that even the marketing team at Michelob loves it. The spectrum of ASMR content is wide, and typically, the tingle “triggers” are a visual-auditory combo that can come from tapping surfaces, folding laundry, and brushing hair; even actions as tiny as moving a record needle, clinking jewelry, or lighting a match. No, it’s not a sexual thing, although that niche does exist. (So does “Jareth, the very pushy King of the Goblins, [who] is here to persuade you to join him in his kingdom of miniature puppets.” You’re welcome!) 

At its core, ASMR is about easing tension, for everyone—and that’s a pretty damn sweet act of love. What could be more giving than offering your significant other, crush, or friend a reprieve from their deluge of daily stress? The majority of ASMR trigger objects naturally correlate to pleasure and wellness, which is something we’re already in exceptional need of in 2022. Whether you’re looking to treat yourself or your loved ones this Valentine’s Day, let these 16 ASMR-ready gifts overcompensate for lack of human touch… in style!

Why is it that basic scalp massagers always grip like a lazy arcade claw? We’re here for the prongs of this powerful scalp “masajeador” by Ceremonia instead. The Latinx-owned haircare brand made a palm-sized massager that can feel gentle, or like the touch of a cheeky raptor upon your scalp, exfoliating dead skin, and, ideally (depending on the thickness of your head?), invigorating blood flow. 

Have a little more room in the budget? Ceremonia’s scalp massager and scalp remedy oil bundle is a best-seller, because the lightweight oil is rich in anti-inflammatory and soothing ingredients like castor oil and aloe vera, and will add another sensory element to your ASMR gift.

The slime community is a real and lucrative subset of ASMR, consisting of folks with a passion for finger-shoveling goo, and inventing plasma combos so wild, they rival even the most exhaustive of diner menus; There’s crunchy, slippery, and bubbly slime; slime with sparkle, slime with a pearly finish, and, in this case, an unscented slime kit that plays off everyone’s favorite supermarket cookie.

The chachki dish to rule them all. Glass-tapping is a staple of ASMR, and Mosser Glass—the beloved go-to of classic V-Day escapes like San Luis Obispo, Calif.’s Madonna Inn—is bar-none in juicy color options (ex. Cobalt Blue [above], Tuscan Pink, Eggplant, and more). This babe is perfect for keys, smokes, jewelry, and any corner that needs more kitsch clinking.

Sometimes you just need to squeeze some dumps, man. “This sensory toy is great for anyone that wants their kid's attention on something other than their phones,” writes one happy reviewer, “it really manages to keep them busy, and the great part is how much wear and tear you can put onto it without it breaking. I've had this for over 2 weeks and it hasn't broken yet.” Damn.

Mukbang is a “digital food phenomenon” that originated in South Korea—and a big ASMR trigger—that involves watching people happily (and often) loudly eat decadent meals. Nothing says, “I love you,” or is quite as indulgent, as eating an entire aquatic family. This seafood bundle comes with a medley of caviars, crème fraîche, blinis, and a tiny mother of pearl spoon, and it would be a huge flex to eat it on camera with a captivated audience.

Kindred Black is beloved by ASMR content-makers for its bespoke allure, commitment to slow beauty, and high quality. (Somewhere between apothecary and potion closet, the brand’s products always come in hand-blown glass bottles ripe for tapping.) The “Aphrodite’s Arrow” oil is a great gender non-specific scent, “created with pure organic essential oils of seductive Bulgarian rose otto, Japanese ylang ylang, patchouli, and stimulating black pepper.” Honestly, just keep it for yourself. 

ASMR match-lighting videos are the coziest thing ever, next to the Calcifer yule log on HBO Max (run, don’t walk). Gifting someone aesthetic matches is cool, but presenting them with a matching, cast a iron candle holder is what makes the present go above and beyond.

People are 3-D printing everything from guns to faux-caviar these days, so it’s kind of refreshing to see the technology optimized through this floppy thingamajig. As far as squares of “fabric” go, it doesn’t have a prescribed, practical purpose. It just slides around your hands, and, you know, feels cool. Makes a lil crunching sound. Invites you to relax, focus, and vibe in 10 different colors. “Over the moon with the purchase,” writes one reviewer of the top-rated toy, “would definitely recommend.”

Have you thrice watched that snake and iguana scene in Planet Earth II? Do you wonder where Carl Sagan’s turtlenecks are today? Then “Deep Sea Sand Art” is the ASMR trigger for you. Just “rotate the glass ring, and watch as delicate drifts of light, dark, and glittery golden sand shift,” reads the description, “into mountains, clouds, rain, oceans, and smoke.” Rotate it again, and you’ll disassociate from your flesh sack enough to feel the Sands of Time trickle down your neck. 

TBH, the virtual spa corner of ASMR is our favorite (so we’re gonna stay a while). Content creators will often take the time to highlight products they love that deliver extra tingles, and this exfoliating charcoal scrub soap from the Black-owned brand Art of Sport goes above-and-beyond; It’s made with natural botanicals and no sulfates or parabens, and the bar includes activated charcoal—always a fun ingredient, whether it actually does anything for your skin or not—as well as aloe vera, argan oil, and mango seed butter, so it leaves your bod super-soft for late-night V-day activities [wink wink].

You’ve got the soap, but have you got the sponge? Public Goods sources ethically harvested, durable sea sponges from Greece, so you can get down in la douche like a god.

Gua sha is an Eastern-medicine-based massage technique that incorporates shapely, smooth stones (made of materials that Gwyneth Paltrow probably eats for breakfast) with alleged benefits that include everything from improving blood circulation and reducing acne. Mainly, it involves rubbing your face with a cold, smooth rock—which feels really good whether or not it actually clears up your zits or makes you look freshly Botoxed. This kit comes from the traditonal Chinese medicine experts YINA, which was founded by Dr. Ervina Wu and Angela Chau Gray, and comes complete with a gua sha stone, an all-over botanical serum for your body, and a reparative facial serum that’s lightweight and refreshing.

We love our bread, we love our butter, but most of all: We love this newfound foot freedom in quarantine. We can wear nothing at all, or go full-Fluevog. We can cozy our toes up to a veritable country loaf, knowing no one in Zoom (or the rest of the analog outside world) will be the wiser should we choose. There are a million different avenues you can take when it comes to your house slippers; why not go weird?

The cutest thing on this list, hands down. The mini mic is perfect for your boo’s TikTok rants on why all public drinking fountains should include a carbonated option (it’s not that hard??), or for filming a music video with your pet lizard.

Hairbrushing and ASMR go way back, yielding about 1,530,000 search results on Google, and we’re declaring the Mason Pearson hairbrush as the leader of the pack. “This is the lamborghini of hairbrushes,” writes one reviewer of the legacy (LEGACY!) luxury brush, “Considering how much I spend on shampoo, conditioner, products, hair cuts, and color in a given year, this brush is easily worth the investment.” It’s super gentle, made of boar bristle, and is designed to reduce breakage in even the most stubborn of hair.

Massage and bon voyage!

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.