VICE may receive a commission if you buy products through the links on our site. Read more here.

The Best Sex Furniture for Your Personal BDSM Dungeon

Unbridle your curiosity for pommel horses, sex benches, and spank seats galore.
the best bdsm sex furniture and spanking chairs
Composite by VICE Staff

We’re about ready to be put out to pasture. Meaning: yes, we would like to retire with a bajillion Kardashian-level dollars, but we would also like to be ridden hard and put away wet on a pommel horse in an impeccably curated Berlin sex dungeon. Luckily for us (and thanks to the internet), the latter is easier than ever. 

There are probably more sex toys and apparatuses on the web than people on Earth at this point, and whether you’re perusing the thousands of sex toys hiding on Amazon or flipping through the DIY dildo pages of Etsy, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of options. But when it comes to exploring BDSM gear, it’s extra important to make sure your sex-essories don’t suck. You don’t want to get spanked on a wonky pommel horse, or cuffed into a shaky stockade—and no one deserves to be strapped into a doozy of a pillory. (Except all you Republican senators switching between this article and NSFW Twitter in an incognito tab.)

Advertisement

The best BDSM sex furniture runs the gamut from explicity fuck-able apparatuses to more discreet, everyday benches and pillows—and even workout equipment—that moonlight as sex furniture. Although, if that viral paparazzi shot of Cara Delevigne’s lockdown-era sex bench is any way to read the room, the people are horny for sex furniture and don’t care who knows it. 

If you’re new to sex furniture, you may want to start off with a Liberator wedge or some soft restraints, which turn regular furniture you already own into rated-R decor. Take the time to educate your partner(s) and yourself on all the safety, comfort, and the differences between the options that await you through highly rated BDSM furniture handbooks and online forum discussions. There are plenty of Reddit threads about commercially available spanking benches, and so many others which break down the difference between sex benches (which tend to have a more basic saw-horse center with independent arm/leg supports), spanking benches (typically two square platforms to position the sub in a  kneeling position), bondage horses (the more traditional, pommel-horse-style setup with parallel platforms on the sides for resting arms/legs), and so much more. 

As your resident sex toy jockeys, we’ve found the best, most well-vetted pieces of BDSM furniture online for you to enjoy—from full-blown stockades and discreet benches to sex dungeon furniture, queening chairs, and beyond. That sweet peach deserves a spanking in the pillory, so let’s get to it.   

Advertisement

Start soft

You don’t have to bend over backwards to get into spanking and pommel horse gear (unless that’s what you’re into). For a little more than $10, this blow-up pillow offers a lot of options for play: Bend over on your stomach for a spanking, use it as back support during sex, or use it to ride your dildos, thanks to the trusty Excalibur hole at the top. 


$12.98 at Amazon

$12.98 at Amazon

The best discreet BDSM sex furniture

Is this a sex bench? Not inherently, but that’s the cool thing about sex furniture: It can moonlight as regular furniture. The quilted, shiny faux-leather of this industrial bench would be equally at home in your Fifty Shades of Grey-inspired playroom, your apartment’s foyer, or at the foot of your bed. It’s also equipped with three suitcases that are ideal for safely storing your BDSM gear, vibrators, tax documents, crystal balls, and various David-Bowie-circa-Labyrinth sex-essories. 

$336.29 at Overstock
$310.16 at Home Depot
$336.29 at Overstock
$310.16 at Home Depot

Sex is a workout, but you know what else is? Doing crunches on this cushioned bench. If you really want to fly under the radar with your sex furniture, investing in a workout bench for, ahem, “abdominal exercises” and “weightlifting” is the way to go. This Doeplex bench has a 4.6-star average rating on Amazon, with one reviewer saying “This is the Mercedes of weight benches… 10 stars.” 

Advertisement

$119.99 at Amazon

$119.99 at Amazon

A spank-centric seat 

Your patootie can get a spanking anywhere, but it’s the star of the show on this face-cradling spanking bench. “This bench has a good solid construction,” writes one reviewer on Etsy. “By removing the legs and headrest it fits right in my closet. Two bottoms have commented how comfortable it is.” 


$359 at Etsy

$359 at Etsy

An oral sex chair

Every queening moment deserves a throne. What better way to gingerly sit upon your lover’s nose/get your [redacted] ate than with this cushioned seat from Master Series? “I very much enjoyed [this chair],” one Amazon reviewer writes. “I was a bit anxious at first, but Mistress very quickly made my fears disappear as she sat her butt right on my mouth and that did it! I was in heaven.”


$293.31 at Amazon

$293.31 at Amazon

A portable pommel horse

Giddy up and go with this portable pommel horse, which folds up into an easily transportable, handy dandy square for travel and storage. It has a 4.6-star average rating on Amazon, where doms are praising how easy it is to clean, and subs are touting its ability to keep you strapped-in. “From one Sub to another,” writes one reviewer, “this board is evil. Evil, evil, evil. It allows your Dom or Daddy or Mistress or whomever to truly do anything they want with you. And because it's portable, they can do it ANYWHERE!!!!! No room is safe anymore!”


$299.50 at Amazon

$299.50 at Amazon
Advertisement

Did someone say kebab cosplay?

Stockade machines are the minimalist’s answer to sex furniture. Not only do they look like they belong in Rick Owens’ painfully chic home-gym setup in Italy, but they’re easy to pack away in the closet or under the bed when you’ve got to hop on that Zoom call. The Master Series stockade comes with its own dildo, while the Strict Leather brand version comes with a chest pad—the choice is yours (or your dom’s). 


$120.29 at Amazon

$120.29 at Amazon

$362.42 at Amazon

$362.42 at Amazon

The whole shabang

You are not a conjuror of cheap tricks. You came here to outfit your dungeon like a seasoned pro, and this highly rated, plush sex bench can become the horny axis of your pleasure den. “Most places I saw these [at] were anywhere from $600 to $1000,” writes one Amazon reviewer—at just over $400, that makes this one a steal. It’s also easy to assemble, comes in discreet packaging, and will make you neigh like Seabiscuit.


$411.07 at Amazon

$411.07 at Amazon

Pony up

We couldn’t resist. Once you’re done donning this BDSM horse mask in the bedroom, trot on over to Medieval Times to support the union/turn even more heads. Oh, and don’t forget that tampon flask of sherry. 


$399 at Amazon

$399 at Amazon

Now go forth, and ride away into the sunset. 


The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.