(MTV/Revelation) I know a lot of people hate Dirty Sanchez but I can't help but watch it. Sure, it's not the most highbrow or original programme but where else than in the darkest corner of the stinkiest, most illegal newsgroup the internet ever shat out do you get to see brain-damaged naked young men eat each other's shit, drink each other's piss, rub cum on each other's faces and eat bags full of pubic hair and vomit at the same time? I dunno! If anybody does know please send me a password/link to suzyshitz@viceuk.com Boy oh boy, the bit where the one with the mullet gets his head smashed into the drawing pins and they get stuck in his skull? That gets me every time! And when he rips his ear off! And when they piss on the little one's face all the time? AAAAHAHAHA! Oh… stop it! What about when the scarecrow-hair guy gets chilli sauce and Persil rubbed in his eyes and starts doing the Stevie Wonder impression? And then he gets all his buddies naked (again) and gets his girlfriend to feel their penises? Jesus! My eyes felt like they'd been fucked by God's own dick. I could go on and on and ON and write thousands of words about the amazing hilarious stunts, the homoerotic subtext, the CRAZY fucking personalities of the four protagonists and the way they can't decide whether they're 30-year-old middle class Welsh valley boys or 15-year-old Californian skateboarders circa 1987 but I can't be arsed. I've gotta fucking run dudes—I have a date with destiny. Me and my cousin Amy Anarchy are going to nail our tits to a combine harvester and drink a pint of AIDS! Gnarly!