Who Would You Send to a Warzone?

Nick Griffin and Syrian Prime Minister, Wael Nader Al-Halqi. (Photo via @nickgriffinmep) 

So Nick Griffin, the famed Islamophobe, is in Syria buddying up with the Syrian government and, by extension, extreme Islamist militant group, Hezbollah. That's obviously weird, and got me thinking about all the bizarre people you could ever hope to see in a warzone. I won't bore you with my list, but I thought maybe you'd be more interested in hearing the opinions of strangers you've never met and are likely to never meet, so I asked some of them a question: Who would you send to a warzone?

Alan, manager: I don’t know if I hate someone that much.
Alan's friend (off camera): Joey Barton
Alan: Yeah, that’s a good one!

As in Joey Barton the footballer?
Yeah, who else? He used to play for QPR and he’s currently on loan at Marseilles. He’s a bit of an arsehole. In fact, he’s a renowned arsehole. He’s an ex-convict, he’s a bit of a dick. He’s outspoken – let’s call him that. It's the polite way of saying it.

The polite way following the blunt way. 

Eden, designer: There’s a long, long list, starting with some of my wives.

Some of them?
Well, one of them – the other two were alright. Actually, Cameron can go with them. Most of Parliament, really. Send all of parliament off until they stop coming back, then we could all carry on and it would be fine.

Stephanie, advertising: To do what?

Well, to fight in a war, I guess.
Like, a famous person or a friend?

You have friends you'd like to send to a warzone?
No, I’d probably send an iconic figure – someone like Lady Gaga. She'd make everyone stop, pay attention and hang out for a second.

You think Lady Gaga could solve the crisis in Syria?
Well, I think she’d put on a damn good show.

Deborah, human resources: Nick Griffin.

You hope he stays there?
There you go.

Anyone you’d like to go with him?
A whole heap of politicians.

A lot of people I've spoken to would agree with that.
Yeah. And who else? I wouldn’t say the bankers because they actually keep the whole of the UK afloat.

You’d make sure the bankers were safe?
Absolutely. Otherwise they won’t be paying their taxes and everyone else has to pay more.

Good point.

Marco: You mean to get killed?

For whatever reason, really.
I hope Griffin does. George Galloway and Nick Griffin together would be nice.

You don’t like Galloway?
Well, they’re both extremes, aren’t they? We don’t need people like that in society. I think, generally, decent people are sensible enough to get on with their lives.

Previously - What Conspiracy Theories Do You Believe?