Hey, LDN and NYC, Suck it UP. Love Sao Paulo

Oh what's that, Europeans and pretend Europeans living on the East Coast of America? You guys have had some little snow storms in the last couple of days? Little cold white things are falling from the sky and landing on you? Sorry if we're having a hard time being sympathetic, we've just spent the last 47 days rearranging our lives to accommodate the torrential downpours that start like clockwork every single day at six is all.

As irritating as it's been rescheduling our happy hours, movie sessions, premarital sex, and gang fights to "before or after the rain," at least we've got the high ground. Some neighborhoods near the Tietê River have been completely underwater for two months and so far over 70 people have drowned.

Last week residents from some of Sao Paulo's most washed-out districts got together in front of City Hall to throw snakes and rats they'd found in their houses at the government officials who've been doing fuckall to help them out. After sending the protesters home with peppered faces and bruisey asses, officials did agree to allocate $150 million to new housing, rental grants, and gutter cleaning for the flood victims, but seeing as how the federal garbage-collection and river-maintenance funds have already been raided for campaign advertisements (after all, it's an election year), I wouldn't be holding my breath on any of this nonsense. Unless of course, it's keeping the rising sewage-water from filling my lungs.

Anyways, just thought you'd be interested in knowing how things are going down here. Enjoy the snow while you can. Spring's coming.