Free the Hooch

Illustration by Kara Crab

Are you a homeless alcoholic in Vancouver, BC, who is using this free magazine to shelter yourself from the elements? We’ve got good news for you! A band of Vancouver community activists who call themselves the Eastside Illicit Drinkers Group for Education are trying to establish a “members-only lounge,” where drunks can conveniently satisfy their insatiable thirst for booze in a safe environment. This isn’t some hazy, drunken fantasy either: The group recently landed a $52,000 grant from the nonprofit Vancouver Foundation. While conservative critics point to it as a rotgut-dealing operation that panders to humanity’s basest desires, the group insists that the cost of providing homeless alcoholics free liquor is much lower than policing and medical fees associated with illicit drinking on the street. Nasty side effects of drinking improvised hooch include blindness (usually as a result of downing diluted hand sanitizer), bone-erosion fractures (from quaffing mouthwash), and something called hemorrhagic gastritis (from guzzling rubbing alcohol). The group hopes that by offering desperate addicts an alternative, health risks will be scaled back. And by next year, the Eastside Illicit Drinkers Group is looking to form a partnership with Vancouver Health Services and construct a swanky lounge stocked with vodka, sherry, and high-alcohol beer, which is a definite step up from hand sanitizer on the rocks.

Are you a booze-hound? Put these in your bottle and take a swig:

International Libations

Car Jousting with Drunk Germans