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Vice Blog

Brooklyn - Dear Vice

Dear Vice,
I've been trying to get this mouse for about two months now. I've set several traps. He ignores the glue pads and somehow, I have no idea how, is able to detonate the spring traps and get the peanut butter without hurting himself. The few times we've come face to face I've been so shocked that I spend the first few seconds going, "Oh lord, there he is, fuck, I better get something to smash him with, what about this? Yes this will do, where'd he go" and he's gone. A good hunter is always calm.

Last night however was a different story. I had been drinking since about noon and got home at 4AM incredibly shitfaced. I walked in going through my mail and when I saw the mouse out of the corner of my eye I nonchalantly grabbed a beer mug and brained him without a second thought. I didn't even put down my mail. The next day I was shocked to see a dead mouse next to my sink and slowly remembered that drunk me had taken care of business the night before. I am in constant awe of drunk me. He is my hero.