Proud American and member of Philadelphia band Clockcleaner, Uncle Sharkey, has relocated to Melbourne, Australia and started to write hatred for the Vice Empire. His Australian counterpart had a chance to sit down with him for a proper Aussie introduction and got his feelings on his recent move and the unfortunate cancellation of the Clockcleaner UK tour that was to begin in July. Surprisingly, the two seemed to get along swimmingly. Go Figure.Aus Uncle Sharkey: Oi! G'day, mate. So what brings your seppo ass down here to Australia?
US Uncle Sharkey: Well, Skip, I met the woman I am going to marry and she lives down here. Her name is Dave. She has a very long and powerfully thrusting personality! I was also sick of Philadelphia and most of the people that live there. There are probably 9 people that live there that are tolerable. I also LOVE 'roo meat. I hear it makes your semen unusually tasty. You'll have to ask my fiance if there's any truth to that. Dave would be the expert!Go on! What's this I hear that the Cleaner UK tour is canceled. That Sheila you chased down here put a damper on things?
Nah, my man. The tour was booked, but there was a total breakdown in communication between us and the promoter. No one had the dough to put up for our flights. There was just NO fucking way we could float the money, and with gas prices going through the fucking roof, it was about as likely as someone from Midnight Oil getting elected to Parliament!You're an idiot. So, do you guys have any plans to tour AUS or are you packin' it in?
Yeah, the rest of the band are coming out here in November to do a tour. We're gonna be doing two weeks with Pink Reason.Who's setting that up for ya?
Daniel and Johanna from Stained Circles are releasing our last LP down here and they are paying for the band to get on planes and then have us play shows that are booked. That'll be nice when that happens. I guess I'm supposed to get the money they would've spent on my ticket still since I am here already. Maybe I can buy some of your disgusting meat pies that you hock down here. I like how you took a Hot Pocket and tried to make it a legitimate meal.Ya cunt! You find anything else down here you like besides our diarrhea pies and your new love Dave? It's noice here, innit?
I have been enjoying it here! I like how all the punks are fucking busted! I haven't met uglier people in years! I feel like the John Mayer of the punk scene! I also like how rap is only for white people down here. That makes sense. I like how a black coffee is called a Long Black. It's a good indication of what is going to happen after you drink one. Melbourne will be just fine, me thinks! I'm going to be writing a column, "From Hate City With Love, Uncle Sharkey", for the website once a week about me stupid times here. It should be better than most things on the internet. OK, I'm done. Bye bye.JSIII
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US Uncle Sharkey: Well, Skip, I met the woman I am going to marry and she lives down here. Her name is Dave. She has a very long and powerfully thrusting personality! I was also sick of Philadelphia and most of the people that live there. There are probably 9 people that live there that are tolerable. I also LOVE 'roo meat. I hear it makes your semen unusually tasty. You'll have to ask my fiance if there's any truth to that. Dave would be the expert!Go on! What's this I hear that the Cleaner UK tour is canceled. That Sheila you chased down here put a damper on things?
Nah, my man. The tour was booked, but there was a total breakdown in communication between us and the promoter. No one had the dough to put up for our flights. There was just NO fucking way we could float the money, and with gas prices going through the fucking roof, it was about as likely as someone from Midnight Oil getting elected to Parliament!You're an idiot. So, do you guys have any plans to tour AUS or are you packin' it in?
Yeah, the rest of the band are coming out here in November to do a tour. We're gonna be doing two weeks with Pink Reason.Who's setting that up for ya?
Daniel and Johanna from Stained Circles are releasing our last LP down here and they are paying for the band to get on planes and then have us play shows that are booked. That'll be nice when that happens. I guess I'm supposed to get the money they would've spent on my ticket still since I am here already. Maybe I can buy some of your disgusting meat pies that you hock down here. I like how you took a Hot Pocket and tried to make it a legitimate meal.Ya cunt! You find anything else down here you like besides our diarrhea pies and your new love Dave? It's noice here, innit?
I have been enjoying it here! I like how all the punks are fucking busted! I haven't met uglier people in years! I feel like the John Mayer of the punk scene! I also like how rap is only for white people down here. That makes sense. I like how a black coffee is called a Long Black. It's a good indication of what is going to happen after you drink one. Melbourne will be just fine, me thinks! I'm going to be writing a column, "From Hate City With Love, Uncle Sharkey", for the website once a week about me stupid times here. It should be better than most things on the internet. OK, I'm done. Bye bye.JSIII