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Vice Blog

NEW YORK - MESH IS FRESH

Getting dressed lately is getting easier and easier. Just stick your big and long parts in the provided holes. All the shit is getting all stretchy and elastic like Pull-Ups potty training diaper pants. When I walk by the American Apparel window, it looks like jazzercisey pop-lockity of gymnastic surgeons, asylum pajamas, NASCAR flags, baby blankets and KFC napkins. Basically as close as you can get to swaddling clothes, but with a hoodie. (Anxiety and acne look couture in a hoody, so I'm down.) This might be the best era to bring back the three stoogerific prank of de-pantsing too. It's just too easy to swoosh elastic leggings off boozy buddies!

ADRIANE SCHRAMM