Image by Sam Taylor
Ever since his tenure at Real Madrid, up there with David Moyes at United and your man from Raiders of the Lost Ark when it comes to rapid ageing, José's lost the swarthy swagger that could make "the Emperor has no clothes" a sexual pun. Even so, it's no less relevant after a team that all and sundry were hyping as the "New Invincibles" got sunk by Bradford City.
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Manchester City Became a Victim of Cliché
The manner of Chelsea's defeat shielded City from more embarrassment this weekend. But have you seen the first goal? If there's a more "plucky lower-league cloggers doing their best to get up in the grills of the big boys" effort in human history, I've yet to see it. Boro literally tackled the ball into the net.It was the ultimate fulfillment of the cliche so beloved of everyone who bangs on about "the magic of the Cup": brave lower-league lads twatting pampered Premier League mercenaries. It was even carried out by Middlesbrough, the least glamorous team from the hardest and most deprived region of England.
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Louis Van Gaal Might Not Be Any Kind of Genius
After City and Chelsea's failures, a lot of people were saying that the Cambridge 0-0 – achieved via a display of shameful cowardice by a team assembled with hundreds of millions of pounds – actually looked like a pretty good result for Manchester United. These people are, of course, idiots.If you're a United fan, the worst thing about it was that Van Gaal astonishingly relented to the "4-4-2" chants, and duly sent his side out without eight defenders, and yet the same problems were there.The main observation from all of this is that Van Gaal's luck is continuing. David Moyes didn't oversee any result like this, nor did he throw away a lead against Leicester City or get tonked by a franchise. The results in the big games have been cited in Van Gaal's defence, but a last-minute scramble after a corner against Chelsea and playing Liverpool when they were at the lowest ebb is all that backs that up. If he doesn't do something soon, people are going to start to talk.
Tomas Rosicky Isn't the Solution, He's the Problem
The Whole Foods Derby didn't fail to disappoint this weekend, although Arsenal managed to scrape the best result out of the big teams in actually managing to secure a victory. Even then they needed a man of the hour, though, someone to stand up when all but he had fled, and that man was Tomas Rosicky. Congratulations if you're reading this Tomas, and enjoy that champagne.
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Let it not be said that Five Things is a self-serving column. No, this is here for you, the fans, and when we get it wrong, we hold our hands up and apologise. Recently we claimed that France and Scotland were where it was at – not just in life, but also in football, as they were producing the two best title races of the season. Unfortunately, we now understand that this advice was complete shite.Much like Scotland in their last game against England, Aberdeen have crumbled under their own pressure and shat the bed as soon as it was suggested they might actually provide credible opposition. Now, we're relying on Inverness. Things are no better in France either, with PSG playing poorly but comfortably putting Saint-Etienne out of the picture last night after Marseille continued to collapse. Lyon are still leading, but they're being carried by a 24-year-old "youngster" who could yet have his career ruined by Liverpool this season – it's not going to last.
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