If you haven't seen Auntie Angel's grapefruit video, you haven't been keeping up on your internet. Bad millennial, very bad. No treats for you. Please watch the video above to catch up.
OK, so to start with the obvious: This video is perfect. The technique, which I tried, is messy, and according to my boyfriend, "squelchy, but nice." But the grapefruit is only one of 50 fellatio techniques taught via Angel's DVD series or, for the truly lucky, in her classes, which she estimates have reached more than 50,000 people in the ten years she's been teaching.
Her first viral hit, the 20-minute "Angel's Fellatio Secrets"—which guarantees male orgasm in five minutes or less—debuted on World Star Hip Hop in February 2013, and has since amassed more than six million views. Angel's videos achieve a delicate tonal balance—frank and straightforward, her emphasis on the proper terminology and safe sexual practice is reminiscent of school-based proper sex ed, while her sense of humor and outlandish demonstrations have a bachelorette-party vibe. It's hard to tell if she'd be better followed by a male stripper ready to give you a lap dance or your sixth-grade teacher, there to explain your changing body. The genius of Angel is that she embodies the spirit of both, making sex something to take seriously now so you can take it lightly (or as hard as you want) later.
Auntie Angel, a.k.a. Denise Walker, is 43 years old and based in Chicago, where she works as a sexpert and nail technician. We caught up with her to ask about her blowjob techniques, eight years of army service, and what the deal is with that angry wolverine sound.
All photos courtesy of Auntie Angel
VICE: So where did the grapefruit idea come from?
Auntie Angel: Years and years ago, before I even started teaching classes—true story. When I first started doing fellatio, I had no clue what to do, not at all. The guy I was dating wanted it, so I was pretty much learning, like a lot of people learn, from porn. So I was watching these porns trying to figure out what these ladies were doing, and one particular lady had a handful of fruits, and she was just doin' her thing, and the man seemed to be in heaven. So I ran to the refrigerator to see what we had. There was a lemon, orange, and a grapefruit—true story. I grabbed the orange first. You think of it as sweet, manageable, right? But he was so well-endowed that the orange just exploded. So I cut up the grapefruit, and the way I started stroking it with the grapefruit and sucking it, he was like, "Oh my god, it seems like you're giving me fellatio and sex at the same time." He loved it.
I read in a blowjob-tips piece you did with Cosmo that you didn't give your first blow job until 27. That seems late—what happened there?
To be honest with you, no one had ever asked me to do it, so I thought that was just not a requirement. Either it was something you were into like a fetish or you were married or something. [Laughter] I really was such a square. And then when the guy I was seeing asked me, I was like, "You want me to do what?! That's what ugly girls do!" I was really in the dark. Then, when I did do it, I really wanted to please him, so I got more in depth with it—more than just the techniques themselves. I wanted to understand it, exactly what he was feeling, what I was doing. I knew there was a method to the art of fellatio.
So you took a kind of academic approach to sucking dick.
Absolutely. And it actually opened up the communication between myself and my man, which I came to realize is the most important thing, because every man and every woman is different. I had to start talking to him and find out what he was into, specifically. And of course men are horrible communicators. They don't want to articulate anything. They want you to just go down there and figure it out. But eventually he started telling me what he liked or didn't, and that's kinda how I structured all the 50 different techniques.
You make quite a specific sound when you're doing it. What's that about?
The sound effect is over-the-top, I know. Me watching porn and talking to ladies, I realized that everyone's making pretty much the same standard oohs and ahs. I wanted to do something that was so out-of-the-box that he would never forget you until the day he died. He would just keel over and in his last breaths he'd still remember that sound. If he doesn't like it, you can communicate about it. If he's not feeling the sound effects, sure, scale it back to the norm or somewhere in between. But don't start by giving him the same thing he's always had.
You've had a lot of careers in your life. You're a nail technician still, and I read that you were in the Army?
I was a mechanic for eight years [laughter, shows off elaborate nail art]. One time, in the early 90s, we were having a presentation about sexual health, and the things they were saying, I was sitting there saying like, "OK, I know more than that." And Angel hadn't even been born yet, but I took it over, even in the Army. I was teaching the class about safe sex. A lot of the men were saying they hated to use condoms. But I really promote safe sex, especially in the African American community, because HIV rates are really high in our community. Well, I put a condom on my foot in front of the class. I showed them how to roll it on over my foot, and I stuck my foot up in the air and told the men, "Look, if your penis is bigger than my foot, you don't have to use a condom, but I feel like that's not the case." Everyone was like, DID SHE JUST DO THAT? But I wasn't ashamed. I just love sex. It's a common denominator for everyone. It shouldn't be a taboo that people are scared to talk about.
So when was Angel "born"?
Ten years ago. I was with a particular guy. I was so excited about things I was doing with him, I started telling my girlfriends, and they were dumbfounded. They were like, "You have to show us." They started telling their friends, and they told their friends. That's how Angel was born, out of helping my girlfriends, but it spread like fire. It just went everywhere.
So you're dating your manager, Jay, yes?
That's right. It makes it really great because he actually understands, of course, what it is that I'm doing. He's not just coming in and managing me—he knows it firsthand. His passion for it is like, he wants every man to experience what he's experiencing.
And I guess you guys try out new techniques together? Is there some kind of sex lab?
The bedroom is the lab, girl. But one of my DVDs—Home Is Where the Heart Is—it's about not just keeping everything in the bedroom. The bedroom is a sacred place to have fun, but if you live alone or the kids are out, you have the living room, dining room, kitchen, bathroom, hallway, the car, the backyard… there are so many different places that you can have a great sexual relationship. I also have a technique called the Death Technique. And, to be honest, I have had women who have given their men my blowjobs, and the men have passed away.
Yes. Massive heart attacks. So I do tell women, I am not responsible for the death of your mate. You suck at your own risk!
I have to ask what that technique involves.
It's basically you add in a vibrator bullet with the perfect blowjob technique, so you're going down and twisting your whole body, up and down, and then you manipulate the perineum with a vibrator—it takes the technique to a whole new level.
In the Cosmo piece, you also mentioned that you have a history of sexual assault. Do you feel comfortable talking about that?
I've been raped twice, by family members. In my book, Angel's Secrets, I talk about those experiences because I've talked to so many women—a lot of women have been molested or raped, and when it comes from your family member, especially, you feel like a victim. And eventually you feel you've survived, you're a survivor, but when it's in your home you can't escape it, and you feel isolated. When you do tell someone, they might not want to believe it, you know, your mother doesn't wanna put your brother in jail, or their husband or whoever, and you feel trapped by that. So I wanted to tell women that you're not a victim, it's not your fault, and there are ways of surviving it. You have to forgive the person, and you have to confront the person if they're still alive. You have to confront them because they live off of your fear. When you're fearless, they have no more power. And then you need some counseling. There's nothing wrong with talking to someone to figure out the tools you need to survive and thrive. I tell people to write their story and burn it, because you'll realize that you are who you are because of your past, and you suppress so many things, but you need to let them out and stop being scared of letting people see who you are. Look: I was raped, and I survived. I still have a good life; I have children; I can find love and a great career. It does not define me. It doesn't have to define anyone.
Did you find it hard to work through those early experiences with assault while sex education and demonstration became such a big part of your life?
After what happened, I was made very aware of my own sexuality, and I reacted by ho-ing around. A lot of times, when people are sexually assaulted they become extremely promiscuous, because then they can control what's happening to them, sexually. I found that I loved sex when I was in control of it, doing what I wanted to do. I eventually branched out of the promiscuity. I got God in my life, and I turned my love of sex—especially positive, empowered sex—into something I use to help other people. So I flipped what happened to me into something positive, and that's where Angel came in.
So what's on the horizon for Angel?
So many things! Me and Jay just interviewed for a TV show Sex Sent Me to the ER. I can't tell you what happened, but sex did send me there once. We've also had a lot of interest from reality shows. It's very exciting. I never thought what I did would lead to fame or fortune; that was never my intent. I just wanted to help women of every background to be empowered in their sexuality.
Of all your tips and techniques, what would you say is the most important piece of sex advice?
Your mouth can do things your vagina cannot do. Your vagina is amazing, she is so amazing that nine times out of ten, a man you're having sex with will have an orgasm. That's how great she is. God made her perfect. Your mouth is different: You have to work at it a bit. But once you have a great vagina—which is already taken care of—as well as great head, that's when you become a beast. My advice for women is to become a beast.
Thanks for chatting with me!
Suck, suck, suck, girl!
God bless you, Angel.
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