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NEW YORK - DESIRE DUBOUNET

One of our illustrators kept squawking about this tranny filmmaker who his friend works for in Hungary. But he’s kind of a loose cannon and used to be Rufus Wainwright's boyfriend, so we just wrote it off as one of his incessant tirades. That was, until he sent this video of what we initially thought was Carroll O’Connor with tits singing "Crying." Only then did we begin to wrap our heads around Desiré Dubounet’s singular amazingness. Her website is a good rabbit hole to fall into if you have an hour or two to waste learning about how a mathematical genius named Bill (who may be the reincarnation of Confucius) went from singlehandedly saving the Apollo 13 mission to being recruited by the CIA for Project Phoenix to becoming an expert on comparative religions to realizing he was the Maitreya predicted by Buddhist legend…

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to becoming a doctor to renouncing his medical knowledge after coming to the realization that man-made drugs are inferior to natural treatments to being nominated for 12 Noble Prizes to eventually founding a movie production house to "educate the world about the dangers of synthetic drug companies." Along the way he decided to become a woman, and bam: Desiré was born. It’s one of the more dubious life stories we’ve heard in a bit, but after some cursory research it appears most of it is true. You would’ve thought somewhere along the line the guy might have learned rudimentary grammar, but whatever. Anyone who can write dialogue like what’s going on below (it is not an outtake) earns our highest esteem.