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Vice Blog

NEW YORK - WHO'S FEELING NUTS TODAY?

I feel like a basket of pure unsalted nuts today, and instead of trying to remedy the situation with helpful talks and self-affirmation, I hunkered down in it nice and comfy style and decided to reach out to strangers to see if the rest of the city felt wacky today too. So I went onto Craigslist this morning and posted the following cryptic post in the Missed Connections section:

"Did you end up anything like you thought you would?"

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Hours later, I received the following replies:

"Arise while your plans clarify and mature in private, rather than through any organization; your vocation, life path, career, family, and friends. Be careful that you haven't bought into the illusion of what others feel is important. You are learning and heading exactly where you ought to be. Be prepared to be told that you're wrong today. Step down gently off that high horse."

"No. Why do we always end up here?"

"Did you? I feel you now. Do not ignore it."

(This person could sense that I am amazing looking and wants to bed me.)

And then a third party responded to the above romantic advance with:

"I dreamt about you last night. That has not happened in the longest time … could it be you? You did everything in your power to touch me. So subtle …to not so subtle… brought memories so sweet. I miss you. I feel you. again. again. again.

So I can officially conclude that uh, yep the rest of the city feels

nuts today too

.

KELLY McCLURE