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Friend 1: Wiener rash. I mean, genital herpes.
Friend 2: Diarrhea, he's just holding it in to take this photo, then it's a quick dash for the toilet.
Friend 3: Definitely constipation. I read on Wikipedia this can occur form fear of pain, maybe he doesn't want to get his heart broken by you again.
Actual illness: Irritable bowel syndrome.
Friend 2: Cocaine cloud, because I saw him last night doing bumps the size of baby fingers.
Friend 3: ACHOOO
Actual illness: Dermatophagoides pteronyssinus allergy (aka dust allergy).
Friend 1: English Sweate it was invented by the British government to thin the growing ginger population that was organizing a coup in 1485. Look it up!
Friend 2: Hyperhidrosis, aka the super-sweats.
Actual illness: He just found out he has cancer, you insensitive dickheads.
Friend 1: Finally, one that I get. He's going for spastic mentalist here.
Friend 2: He's a retard.
Friend 3: Retardation.
Actual illness: He's just mid-sneeze. You guys are mean.KRISTINA MAHLER