There’s been a pile of limited-edition crap and promotional ephemera accumulating under our desks for the last few years. And unlike "indestructible" cell phones or giant lipstick containers full of makeup, trying to come up with a stupid and/or fun way of incorporating them into our workday was impossible. In fact, every time we accidentally took a sideways glance at Halo 3 Mountain Dew cans or a hat with the texture of a balding tire designed by a (the only?) black motocross rider it was like tazering our creativity with 40,000 watts of "cool-hunter" market studies and brand-development brainstorming sessions. So we put everything on eBay to see who would actually buy this shit. Turns out lots of people. Continue reading for a rundown of what we sold and how much it was worth.Set of 12 Mountain Dew 2008 Green Label Art Bottles - $145This turned out to be the golden goose. The guy who placed the winning bid sent three messages within ten minutes of each other, telling us that his wife would only allow him to buy it if Chris Pastras’s bottle was included. We didn’t really feel like digging through the box again and figuring it out so we just said, "Sure." Hope it’s in there.DESTRUCTO VS. KLF $MIL Trucks + Shirt + Stickers - $7Wow. This one really let us down. They’re pretty nice trucks and we thought someone would surely be willing to pay at least half the retail price. Maybe skaters don’t eBay? Anyway, the buyer seemed to be more interested in the shirt and asked if we had any additional photos. We gave them a link to some "hype" website that had pics of the front and back. It’s really fucking ugly, but the shipping address was in California so there you go.Puma by Miharayasuhiro Limited Edition Book - $12This was probably the most appalling item sold. Even copying and pasting the reasoning behind this object’s existence into the description box was almost enough to make us wear dollar-store sandals and combat boots the rest of our lives. It’s a velvet-wrapped photo book solely featuring shots of shoes designed by a Japanese guy who must be color-blind. There was serious deliberation as to whether or not it was even worth the $.80 eBay charges for a listing, but one of our ad guys assured us sneakerheads would go "crazy" for it. Looks like he was wrong.Mountain Dew Halo 3 Limited Edition Cans - $12This is the aforementioned can set that an "extreme" soda company put out so pear-shaped gamers could stay up for 72-hours straight when their new three-week break from depression came out. Ugh.Zune Originals 8 GB - $52.01This is a Zune with laser-etched artwork on the back. It came with a poster. Someone in Hawaii bought it.New Era Capture the Flag James Stewart Super-duper Limited-edition Hat - $46This thing is so fucking ugly that even a guy who we fired for talking too much about being a rave DJ in the 90s thought it was hideous (although that was three days after he asked if he could have it). Someone from Holland offered us $145 for it but backed out for some reason (hopefully his girlfriend made fun of him or something). Anyway, the "Tiger Woods of supercross" helped design it, it comes in a fancy box, and this one was 229/290. Fucking Christ.Electric EG.5 Ski Snow Goggles - $32These aren’t "limited" or special or anything. They were just some brand-new snow goggles we had lying around the office. Thirty-two's not bad, right?Coca-cola WE8 Aluminum Bottle Beijing Olympics Set - $95
A few months before the Olympics, Coke asked eight Chinese artists to ejaculate something creative onto aluminum bottles. Then they sent us a set, which we promptly sold for almost $100. The best part? They were completely empty when we received them. That’s right: No soda. $100. Keep sending us stuff, guys.
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