This Green Mac 'n' Cheese Is Depression Food Done Right

On your dystopian, semimonthly trip to the grocery store, you may throw a big old plastic sack of greens in your freshly sanitized cart, convincing yourself that you might, IDK, suddenly crave A Really Great Salad even though each day brings fresh hell. Let's be honest, you don't want salad—you want a giant bowl of cheesy pasta. And so under most circumstances, you, if you are like me, probably find yourself throwing out an embarrassing amount of roughage because of your own inability to consume enough spinach or "power greens" before they start getting soggy and slimy and sadder than your Twitter timeline.

But if you're reading this, we will presume that you're still alive, alert, and possessing the will to trudge forth and live to see another day of Jared Kushner's plastic surgery journey and forced emotional investment in Love Island Australia. In order to do that, you will need to nourish your body… at least a little. For this task, the perfect dish is our Green Macaroni and Cheese. And while I may be writing this on a day of particularly low morale, I made this dish numerous times before The Really Bad Timeline, and friends, it is honestly very delicious, and great as a side or as a main event.

It starts with a kind of super-pesto sauce: spinach, parsley, basil, and garlic, combined with a hefty pile of Parmesan. Don't worry, you just throw it all in a food processor—very easy.

Then, you make a simple roux and mix in a large quantity of sharp white Cheddar, a mighty fine cheese, indeed, and one that could run laps around any orange powder in a bag (though, of course, there's nothing wrong with that, either). Combine this with the green sauce and bake it, topped with more bubbling, browning cheese, and you'll have some of the dankest mac 'n' cheese to ever grace your lips, combined with the vitamin A-, B-, C-, and K-packed powers of spinach. You want potassium? lron? Calcium? It's all in there.

We certainly shall not fault anyone for enjoying a heaping bowl of mac 'n' cheese for dinner—but at least mix it up, and throw in something a little good for ya.