Ah, Summer in the city. The hydrants flow freely, and our pores get so greased-out from the schvitzing that a fly could ice skate right over our slippery little T-zone. But not this year. We’re not spending this most blessed, horny vaxxed summer looking like a month-old flan, damnit, because we’ve spent too long in our quar cave.
Admittedly, we also don’t really know what we’re doing [slaps olive oil on thighs] so we sought the skincare advice of Emilio Quezada and Evan Shinn, a.k.a. the Dewy Dudes, the makers of a neural-expanding skincare podcast and meme-machine on Instagram:
The Dewy Dudes are social media pitmasters, creating content that satiates our pores, hearts, and minds with wisdom that blends a Pauly Shore Joie de vivre with legit skincare advice on everything from drugstore to luxury brands, from Cetaphil to La Roche-Posay to the drool you left on your pillow. Nothing is off limits. Except ethanol toners.
We asked the dudes for skincare tips during heat wave season, and which sunscreen is best; how to properly moisturize, recognize red flags in product marketing, and just start to generally navigate the skincare world when you’re a grown man whose mattress is still on the floor. We see you.
VICE: Hi! So, it’s summer. It’s hot, gooey, and gross. What’s your skincare routine?
Dewy Dudes: Absolutely nothing, just letting all that sweat seep into our pores for hours on end. Ha, just kidding of course, but in all seriousness, we are stripping our routines way back.
I, Emilio, am cleansing with something light like Youth to the People’s Kale Cleanser, followed up with Tatcha’s Dewy Serum, moisturizing with iS Clinical Reparative Moisture Emulsion, and finishing off with Elta MDs tinted sunscreen.
I, Evan, am perpetually cleansing with the iS Clinical Cleansing Complex, and right now, dabbing my eyes with Dr. Loretta Tightening Eye Gel, I’m moisturizing with Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Cream, and sunscreening with Dr. Loretta’s Urban Antioxidant Sunscreen SPF 40.
If you had to introduce a few basic/gateway items into a dude’s life to get him interested in skincare, what would they be?
Emilio I’m introducing my boy to Tatcha’s Violet-C Radiance Mask. It’s simple to use, you see immediate results, and the process can be mined for content or done together with your sweet, sweet significant other. What else could a dude ask for?
What are some of the best things to look for in a skincare product?
The SkinTok teens aren’t wrong when they say it’s all about the ceramides, but honestly, the best philosophy while shopping is simply looking out for ingredients that work for your skin type at the price point that makes most sense for you.
The biggest red flags?
Red flags are going to be very tailored to someone’s specific skincare needs, but personally we look out for alcohol because it tends to dry out our skin. Also, be wary of brands that push the cringey “clean beauty” lingo. All that shit is just marketing.
Whichever sunscreen is laying around, but if we had to choose, Elta MD tinted sunscreen, Supergoop! Unseen Sunscreen, and Dr Loretta’s Urban Antioxidant Sunscreen SPF 40 stand out amongst the rest.
OK, Level 2 Dewy Boy: What would you say is an item that’s maybe not totally necessary, but is a worth-it luxury or indulgence for good skin?
Vintner’s Daughter Active Botanical Serum is absolutely NOT something your skin needs (especially with its $185 price tag), but goddamn, will it add that extra glow and smooth complexion that levels you up. Or if they really want to level up, copping a microcurrent device would put him above you, me and everyone we know.
A lot of men have started wearing makeup during Zoom calls during the pandemic. Have you, or would you? Are there any makeup products you recommend?
Usually, we waste an ungodly amount of hours trying to get the natural light to hit just right on the Zoom call, but one thing that’s technically considered makeup is Dr. Brandt’s Pores No More Pore Refiner Primer. It’s pretty self-explanatory: smooths out the complexion for quick photo-ready skin. We dab that shit on our t-zones.
Do you have any tips for bug sprays, or healing from bites?
Best tips for healing from bug bites: Do NOT touch it! Suppress the itch. Gaslight yourself. You are imagining the itch. Your skin is comfortable and at ease.
I use olive oil on my skin. Am I insane?
You’re not insane. We know a lot of people who use olive oil to address skin issues, which makes sense because it’s an emollient. And there are numerous olive oil skincare products out there.
As far as products that work great on both your face and body, Reddit seems to be sold on hacking “CeraVe in the tub” as a facial moisturizer.
Let’s talk about essential oils. Are there any you love (or hate) to work into your routine?
We are woefully unfamiliar in the essential oils arena, but friend of the pod, Caroline Calloway, just sent us a little bottle of snake oil containing a multitude of essential oils. Get back to us for a full review of that…
Finally, any last words of wisdom for staying dewy?
The golden age of tret [tretinoin is a topical, prescription form of vitamin A that's currently popular in skincare for its anti-aging and anti-acne properties] has begun. Don’t miss the wave that’s gracefully paving the way forward on our skincare journeys.
Thanks so much.
Stay dewy, reader, and maybe grab a citronella candle for the pre-game? Bless.