If you’re here, don’t worry. Perhaps you’re an amazing person, who, due to certain events, needs a last-minute Valentine’s Day present that won’t get you dumped. Perhaps you don't even need a gift for your beloved, but for a parent, aunt, or frenemy (in a platonic way, weirdo). Or maybe you’re a meh person who needs to expend just enough brain cells to ride out Cuffing Season. We tip our beanies to you all. Whatever your reason for V-Day gift sleuthing, know this: We’re approaching the final window for smashing that order button to get the goods on time, or to start looking for presents that require zero shipping. The following V-Day gifts thrive at the time-sensitive intersection of thoughtful indulgences, and affordability; uniqueness, and wide appeal. Some are sensual, low-key, and boozy; others are environmentally minded, practical, and not-so-secretly self-serving (because a gift of sweet sheets for your boo is also a gift for you); and others yet are a little out there, for those of us who like the road less-traveled. Most importantly, they ooze of care that will last beyond Valentine’s Day, and save you from creating one of those handmade coupon books that should be prohibited beyond 6th grade (who TF wants to “redeem a hug”?). From our long-standing relationship people to the fresh love bugs, mosey on over. The ice gets much thicker here.A new winter ‘fitGender is a construct, but if you’re in need of a Valentine’s Day gift that screams, “I am a Man™,” there are many lumbersexual gift options, including this graphic Carhartt sweatshirt and a festive red beanie. (The bros at the park will never know that he’s never hung a shelf in his life!!)Motivation to stay hydratedLook, your lady contains multitudes, not unlike a glorious mille-feuille or Mommy’s lasagna. But if there’s one thing all girls like, it’s having multiple beverages/cups/drinking apparatuses around them at all times, and that should include this set of rose-shaped wine glasses.‘Cause she’s the queen of multitaskingHave you ever seen a woman not be able to open something with her fingernails/mouth/astute life wisdom? They just have it all figured it out, man. That being said, a little help from this trusty XL Swiss Army knife will make her really happy when she has to file a nail and break into a bank before noon.Just draw her a bubble bathSteamy, lavender-scented bubble baths rock, and they slap especially hard during these frigid winter days. Dim the lights down low, and play some Kenny G (also a big bath fan, BTW) before you fill the tub. This candle is an ode to pastaDoes your boo listen to The Sporkful and have heated opinions about pasta shapes? Then give them the latest candle from D.S. & Durga, which was made in collaboration with Jupiter, a beloved Italian restaurant in New York City. It’s filled with the same “faint umami depth that steams out of their magical pasta pots,” writes D.S. & Durga, and has slightly salty, mouthwatering top notes. It’s the closest they’ll get to that warm, fuzzy feeling of wafting fresh pasta under their nose (without having to lift a finger).A heart-shaped box of meatBefore they met you, they had a toughened heart of jerky. Now they’re meltingly romantic lover of love, and muncher of eight different kinds of jeryky sticks in this special box from Man Crates, from whiskey maple honey bourbon and more.A crazy sexy cool chef's knifeA big sharp knife… romantic? We dare say yes. It can be a turnoff watching your beloved trying to hack apart an onion with a blunt-ass IKEA number that they've had since college, but watching them slide through tomatoes like they're butter with this Material chef's knife? Wowza. Is giving your honey a murder weapon a little bit Patrick Bateman? Maybe. But being a good cook is our kink. Plus, this black knife looks like Adam Driver. Are you more of a V-Day traditionalist? (That’s the best kind, if you ask us). Get you hunny a chef’s knife by Misen in a romantic red hue. “This versatile knife combines the best features of both Western- and Japanese-style blades,” explains Misen, “making it excel at any cutting task or technique.”All the beans you’ve yet to loveMuch like art done by kids, it is (almost) impossible for coffee to suck. Sure, some will be technically better (queue up that old video of Marie Kondo teaching parents to part with their babies’ sub-par art), but it will always be Basically Great, which makes coffee a fail-proof V-Day gift. This artisanal subscription doesn’t toss you random beans, but takes note of all your Flavortown needs via an extensive questionnaire, and woos you with beans from the nation’s top roasters (and, in honor of V-Day, Trade will toss in an extra bag just for kicks). A natural wine club we can actually affordWe love natural wine for the lack of chemical gunk and reduced sulfites, but especially because its OG winemakers consider tannins and buttholes equal fodder for wine club talk. This subscription by MYSA is big on featuring bottles from indie winemakers, and comes with “personalized information on the producer, notes on the wine, serving suggestions, and (our favorite part) food pairing suggestions.” A great gift for Virgos, and anyone whose love language is label-making. Opt to send your sweet wine for anywhere from one month to an entire year.A fancy candle trio that moonlights as sex waxThis jojoba soy boy candle by Maude is earthy and minimalist in design, manufactured in New York, and would definitely only text you back in lowercase letters. But just when you think you have it all figured out, you light its 100% cotton wick (TBH a better thread count than your current sheets), and it turns into a hydrating massage oil candle with warm notes of amber and cedar leaf. Black satin sheets because why the hell not?Are they a joke? Not a joke? See your S.O.'s reaction, then play it off from there. Is there any other gift, ironic or otherwise, that is so very guaranteed to get you laid for just under $30? (We cannot guarantee you will not get dumped for giving these if your partner has a lousy sense of humor. But if that's the case, why are you dating them?) Plus, everyone under the age of 35 needs more sets of sheets.Vibrating panties your partner can controlThat’s right, mate. They make vibrating undies now. Couple’s vibrators and long distance/app-controlled sex toys have really hit their stride in the past few years, and this 4-star average rated vibrator from Lovehoney is the perfect way for beginners and seasoned sex toy lovers alike to get in on the fun. Pair it with this cheeky black panty from Parade with lace trim for a *chef’s kiss* gift.A Jurassic Park bouquet This. This always works. But it works even better when your flowers say, “let’s make out in the wetlands” instead of “It's me, generic red roses. Again.” Urban Stems is a master at making bouquets that feel like they were rolled out of a French country estate, including many options under $100, and offers a very detailed delivery breakdown to make sure they arrive exactly when you need them to be in the hands of someone whom you might not love, but definitely want to impress. They’ll be just as beautiful when displayed dry, and come with the vase. A satin bathrobeYou can never have too many house coats and bathrobes, and this 4.6-star average rated satin robe comes in 22 different colorways. Our pick is the olive green for it’s lowkey/horny earth mother feel that would be perfect alongside a bouquet of fresh eucalyptus from the grocery store.Tricked-out slippers and slidesWhy not say, “I love you, but I love your toes more” with comfy house slippers? They’re an evergreen gift, so make sure you get them an extra special pair that speaks to their love of bread (to say nothing of the baguette pillow). If your dumpling has enough slippers, go for the slides. THE slides; you can’t miss them when they’re covered in sparkles.Personalized jewelry that isn’t cornyIf you’re trying to shop for V-Day jewelry that dosn’t feel cringe or corny, we’ve curated an entire guide of the best affordable, luxurious looking brands. Catbird is at the top of the list for their delicate, sentimental designs, and because they offer next-day shipping for only $25 extra. You can’t go wrong with a classic locket, mate. Bonus points if you put a lock of your hair inside. Personalized eroticaYou and the missus could be reclining on a (faux) bear skin rug, uncorking a bottle of bubbly, and gearing up to read a personalized piece of erotica from this Etsy bard, who can turn around a spicy tale in just three to five days. A four-hour online workshop about Japanese sandwich-makingMaybe your S.O. doesn't have a pet, and so a course about telepathic animal communication wouldn't be of great use to them. So… do they like sandwiches? If they are a true 'wich head, the solution is clear: Get them a Japanese-style sandwich press, and then an accompanying four-hour course about all of the exciting things they can make with it. Is it weird that we think this genuinely sounds amazing? “The recipes that you will get from this course will fit your needs for a delicious sandwich toast," the course description promises. Imagine smoking a bowl, being given a massive pile of bread and cheese and meat, and being able to just make delicious, toasted sandwiches for hours on end. Truly… heaven. If you really want to add on the *muah* finishing touch, gift them this perfect Gotham Steel panini grill:
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.
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The Best Last-Minute Valentine’s Day Gifts for Him
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… Or maybe your mans just wants to play a quiet game of golf with his rich, IRL Succession uncle to secure his next birthday check? Can’t blame him. Keep your guy on the grind with this hat, which leaves no room for putting around.
The Best Last-Minute Valentine’s Day Gifts for Her
The Best Last-Minute Valentine’s Day Gifts for Food Lovers
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Surf 'n' turf that will show up on your doorstepThere's that accurate but kind-of-gross-if-you-think-about-it saying that the best way to one's heart is through their stomach, and putting aside the mental butchery, it's true that if you wanna impress your date, you'd best figure out what they love to feast on. This set from Crowd Cow comes with two lobster tails and two tenderloin steaks for a lock 'n' load surf 'n' turf that will be so much better than Sizzler, have no wait for delivery, and go perfectly with some ice-cold martinis. This bottled Mediterranean summer, c. 1976 We’ve already written (several) sonnets to this non-alcoholic apéritif, along with a smorg of the best non-alcoholic spirits out there, but Ghia gets an encore, because, look at it. The brand has bottled the pulse of the retro Amalfi Coast with a ‘spirit’ that reviewers say “reminded me a bit of Campari, but better!!!” and it has curated a Pretty Sweet bundle of treats for V-Day that includes its signature vegan hazelnut spread, a sexy Ghia x Totem glass, and a code to redeem five full-size pints of Craig's vegan ice cream.
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Get cheesyIf you give someone chocolate, you like them. But if you give someone cheese, you LOVE them. This tasting box comes from Jasper Hill Farm in Greensboro, Vermont, where “there’s a 22,000-square-foot, seven-vaulted cellar for aging cheddars and blues,” and includes a curated selection of cheeses for your boo. A tender tagineMaybe your personal chef/long-standing situationship has been dying to start making their own tagines. This cast-iron and ceramic pot has a 4.7-star average rating from over 480 reviews on Amazon, and earned high marks from reviewers for its deep base and easy-to-clean design. As one cook writes, “Meats cook rapidly but stay so very moist and delicious, and there's no limit to what can be added.”
The Best Last-Minute Valentine’s Day Gifts for ~Sexy Time~
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A bed restraint kit for some chill kink Again… please know your audience while choosing a gift such as this. But if your boo is interested in some light-as-a-feather BDSM, these restraints are the perfect intro to kink. You can also tuck them under your mattress so you don't accidentally leave out anything troubling for the next time your parents come to visit.
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If you’re a total bondage newcomer looking for something that feels a little more romantic, these silky bondage restraints are also perfect. They have a 5-star average rating on Lovehoney. As one reviewer writes, “they are incredibly silky and soft […] the perfect sensory experience during play time.”Put a ring on it… A cock ring, specifically. This ring has a special attachment for extra clitoral stimulation, and a 4.6-star average rating on Amazon. Slide it onto a bottle of Whispering Angel, and you’re in business.
The Best Cozy and Classic Last-Minute Valentine’s Day Gifts
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The Best Virtual Last-Minute Valentine’s Day Gifts
The gift of telepathic communication with their pet This is not a drill. For just $18.99, you can give your loved one the greatest gift of all: the skills to read their dog's (or cat's) mind. Yes, this is an actual online course (with a four-star rating!) offered by Udemy, and it's absolutely perfect for the animal-lover who spends every morning cooing at their French bulldog. In fact, since they'll know how to communicate telepathically, maybe they can stop tormenting us all with that baby voice. Name a star after themDid your Valentine ask for every placement of your Zodiac birth chart on the first date? Name a star after them with the help of the International Star Registry, which was founded in the 1970s and still creates such groovy certificates to celebrate your star of choice that even fire signs will swoon. “We permanently publish all of the names of the stars in the astronomical compendium,” its team explains about the naming process, “[so it is] registered in the U.S. Copyright Office.” Your giftee will also receive a photograph of their star, the location and date of dedication, and its telescopic coordinates.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.