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Shower sex can be very hot: Of course people are into it, given the warm water, the steaminess, the naked bodies in a tight space. However… it can also be cold, awk, and even dangerous. Whether you have a luxurious double-headed shower and Japanese soaking tub or a tiny standing-room-only situation, here's a guide to getting it on safely in the shower, with help from adult film performers and directors who know firsthand how to set the scene and make sure everyone is the right kind of drenched.
Advice on the finer points of having great sex.
Jiz Lee, a porn performer and the marketing director for adult film company Pink & White Productions, said “bath mats are ideal” for making shower sex less slippery. The mats are cheap, accessible, and non-intrusive. The added cushioning of a rubber bath mat can also provide some relief to your knees if you’re giving head, since shower floors usually aren't porcelain is not the most forgiving of surfaces.While we tend to think of shower sex as standing sex, it doesn’t have to be. While you should avoid laying completely flat in the shower for safety reasons, sitting in the tub or on a built-in bench or stool is a hot—and safer—option, according to Lee. “Benches or shower chairs can also be used to prop a leg up, or to lean on if you're bent over,” they said. Sitting or reclining can also be a more relaxing way for people to engage in G-spot play or who ejaculate, said Madison Young, an adult film performer, director, and the writer and host of the series Submission Possible, as it’s an easier position to maintain than standing, and “can be a relaxing, low-stress place to let it flow without all the cleanup.” Lee cautioned people against standing on the ledge of the bathtub, or holding onto the curtain rod. If your shower happens to have a handrail, “Be sure it's bolted into something and use it only to balance, as they're not [usually] designed to [support] someone's full weight and may collapse,” they said.
Take precautions in order to keep your balance.
A steady stream of hot water on your bodies helps with relaxation and keeping warm, but be sure to position the water stream away from your face—you might have to experiment with different positions if one or both of you is getting a mouthful (or eyeful) of water that you didn’t sign up for. Whenever you adjust positions, take a second to make sure you feel steady and stable—not just to avoid potential injury, but also because it’s much harder to have good sex if you’re worried about concussing yourself.
Young encouraged people to “lean into the entire sensory experience of having sex not only with yourself, or your partners, but with the water.” If you have a removable shower head, you can experiment with hydro stimulation. If your shower head isn’t detachable, you can also try sitting in the tub, scooting your legs up the wall, and positioning the bath faucet either over your genitals, perineum, or anus. Just be careful to get the temperature where you like it first: “Playing with colder water temperatures can be exhilarating,” Lee said. “But the other end of that nob can be too hot, especially for delicate body parts, so make sure you know your way around your H/C dial and test it a few seconds before making changes.” For more sensation play, use your surroundings. Try pressing your partner’s chest, back, or butt against the cold tiles for a mildly shocking wake-up call.
Use the shower head—and the water itself—to your advantage.
While water can feel slippery, it actually tends to produce unpleasant friction between body parts. Water is never a good replacement for lube, and it can even dry out any natural lubrication your body produces, making penetrative sex potentially painful.Also not replacements for lube: soap, shampoo, body wash, or any of the usual body products you have on hand in the shower. While suds are great for giving your partner (or yourself) an external rubdown, be very cautious about getting soap in orifices, particularly vaginas, as the acidity can disrupt their pH balances and lead to yeast infections, itching, burning, or other unpleasantness. Bath products also don’t mix well with condoms, as they can damage or break them. As Lee also pointed out, “There's also the fact that soap can drip down to hands or end up underfoot, making already wet surfaces even more slick.”
Don't use soap—or even water—as lube.
Lee recommended using a small amount of silicone lube for shower sex, which is waterproof, or a water-based gel, though they also noted that both can end up dripping down and lead to slipping, and so should be used with caution. When using lube in the shower, they said, it’s also best to “avoid thrusting and big movements that might put you off your balance.”
Young said that hooking up in the shower is particularly good when it's a “slow and seductive” experience. She also pointed out that there’s so much more you can do besides penetration: “Showers can be awesome for manual stimulation, vibes, and oral sex,” she said. She recommended trying out some waterproof vibrators, such as the LELO Smart Wand and I Rub My Duckie, that you can use “if you feel like amping up beyond just manual stimulation.”Fooling around in the shower can also simply be a precursor to what’s to come. “Less is more—and 'more' can be later," said Lee. When shower sex is actually shower foreplay, “You'll get the best and safest of both experiences,” they said, “especially for those who aren't used to coming while standing or in strange, wet, kneeling positions.” Keeping it brief and uncomplicated is an especially good approach for those who have mobility issues, need extra time to relax or come, or can't find quite the right angle. You don't have to feel pressure to make it all happen right then and there, as Lee said: You can always “shower together to get clean, get a little dirty—and then grab your towels and take it to the bedroom.” Follow Anna Pulley on Twitter.