The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants is a mid-2000s classic about four young women who all share the same pair of magical jeans, which makes their friendship better. A Sausage Sisterhood is exactly like that, except instead of jeans, you're sharing a dick.Years ago, I used to fuck this guy who was a really shit to me at the time. He was always angry at me and wouldn't let me go to clown school in France. Despite this I fucked him for two years. TWO YEARS!
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A few months ago, a woman I was following on Twitter slid into my DMs. Quickly we established we'd both fucked the same crappy dude and started sharing war stories. We made plans to hang out and now we're basically best friends with matching dog-head mugs that we drink goon from together. As she summarised so beautifully, "I love making friends with my sausage sisters."Although it was the first time I'd ever heard the term "sausage sister" I knew instantly what it meant—I felt like I had known it ever since I had started banging for fun. Hollywood has portrayed most Sausage Sisterhoods as a negative, and built dumb stories around two people who hate each other. But Hollywood is wrong.Perhaps the male in question was great at sex, or perhaps he was so drunk he couldn't get it up, so you just batted his limp penis like a five-year-old trying to pat a cat, despite being told, "No please, gently." Cute. Either way, when two people find out about their shared genital experience, their friendship both deepens and blooms.
Image via Flick user Mr.TinDCThreesomes can make a Sausage Sisterhood too. The Sausage Sisterhood moves in mysterious ways, and two people will often bond post-threeway. I became friends with my mate Shaz after banging her and our mutual friend Mick together one night. Shaz and I spent the next day together doing lines of dexies, drinking beer, and wearing fake glasses with penises on them. It was more the fake plastic penis covering Shaz's dexamphetamine-filled nose than the real drunk penis that filled mine and Shaz's orifices the previous night. The night that brought us together.
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Unlike Election Day or Bunnings on a Saturday morning, the Sausage Sisterhood is not really about sausages. It goes deeper than that. Take the friendship between my mate Helen and I. Helen is a few years older than me, and we have roughly the same taste in men. Mainly, we just hang out and watch terrible horror films together, drink, swap clothes that would fit each other, and I try to steal her dog. Her dog and our friendship are way more interesting and important than some sausage. We have a rule never to date one another's crushes but recommending sweet 'd is a part of the bond. At the moment, I'm in a monog relationship, so all I can do is suggest the dudes I've hooked up with in the past to Helen: "This guy is great, he's not as skinny as our type of dude is normally, but he is very good at eating pussy" etc.
Image via Flickr user Andrew KitzmillerI tried to find some famous sausage sisterhoods throughout the ages, Google searching: "women in history who have both slept with the same man." The results were just articles on men from history who have boned a whole bunch of women. Apparently, Rolling Stones' guitarist "Bill Wyman" has "had some major tail in his years on the road" sleeping with "1,000 women."Another combination of search terms yielded only listicles about female celebrities who share the same ex. Remember that Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan both dated Aaron Carter? Although that love triangle did form back when they were all like 13 years old, so I'm not sure it really counts.Alternatively, if you Google "sausage sister," the first result is from Urban Dictionary, giving the Urban Dictionary version of what I've just been talking about, with the rest of the results about Finnish pork sausages, which aren't a euphemism.I realise this is all very grossly hetero, but I've slept with far less women than men so I haven't really made any Taco Twinships yet. But I'm always up for making new friends! So if there are any potential Taco Twins or Sausage Sisters out there for me, come and say hello sometime.
I might also add I'm friends with plenty of women where we've both had sex with the same person, but we either haven't really discussed it, or it didn't change our friendship, or it wasn't the initial reason we bonded; or we haven't even met yet. But that's not what the Sausage Sisterhood is about. The sausage may have brought us together, but we remain friends because of, or in spite of, the sausage.*All names have been changedFollow Claire on Twitter
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Image via Flickr user Andrew KitzmillerI tried to find some famous sausage sisterhoods throughout the ages, Google searching: "women in history who have both slept with the same man." The results were just articles on men from history who have boned a whole bunch of women. Apparently, Rolling Stones' guitarist "Bill Wyman" has "had some major tail in his years on the road" sleeping with "1,000 women."Another combination of search terms yielded only listicles about female celebrities who share the same ex. Remember that Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan both dated Aaron Carter? Although that love triangle did form back when they were all like 13 years old, so I'm not sure it really counts.Alternatively, if you Google "sausage sister," the first result is from Urban Dictionary, giving the Urban Dictionary version of what I've just been talking about, with the rest of the results about Finnish pork sausages, which aren't a euphemism.I realise this is all very grossly hetero, but I've slept with far less women than men so I haven't really made any Taco Twinships yet. But I'm always up for making new friends! So if there are any potential Taco Twins or Sausage Sisters out there for me, come and say hello sometime.